Okay, before we do any checking in, there are two things of note that I need to mention. Any of my problems or stresses pretty much pale in comparison to these things a thousand times over.
First there is the Terror Attack in Itamar (I was getting a little stressed that I would have to write a long post fumbling through my mixed and emotional feelings and reactions connected to it, but thank God Jewschool did it for me.)
Then there is the Japan earthquake/tsunami. How utterly devastating and incomprehensible. My heart truly aches for all the victims of both this horrible events, as far-flung and differing as they are.
So, here's the check-in. Between the move from Kansas City, spending the last couple of days trying to settle into my parents' house for seven weeks, and saying a kind-of goodbye to David today (he will be in an extended stay place through April while we wait for our new house to open up,) I am physically and emotionally spent. As much as we wanted to move back to Ohio, there are lots of places and friends we will miss. The trip was hard, taking almost 24 hours with the overnight hotel stay. I spent Shabbat shuffling our stuff around, folding laundry, etc. I shopped for groceries and made a menu plan for the next couple of weeks. I made my first batch of hamantaschen, which I'll post about tomorrow. Yum.
Despite all this, I managed to get some writing done every day but one - yesterday. It is amazing to me that I wrote at all on Friday, mid-travel, but I did. It's one of those situations, I think, when you're powering through everything, and being a SuperIma plus, which is to say that you're doing all your Ima duties, getting something done for yourself, and smiling and looking pretty while doing it, and then the day after your powering-through stops being a necessity? You utterly collapse. I have never had a bigger urge to slack than I did yesterday. Of course, I don't love the results, which is ruining my Project 365 track record. *Shrug* Nothing I can do now, though, except set my goal for this week - I'm vowing to keep writing every day from here on out.
But that's what I'm going to call the minor goal for the week because there's something potentially much bigger that I can do for myself this coming week. There are a couple of things going on this week that could be really important for me professionally, which is to say, I will be in Columbus for a handful of hours this week talking to some People about some Things that I could be Doing as a Professional.
Just thinking about getting back to work in a full time job makes me giddy and excited and nauseous with the excitement/self-censoring-about-getting-too-excited lest I get my hopes up. Yep. I'm a mess. In a good way. I think. I hope. AAAAAAARGH!
So if you please, send me some "You are awesome" vibes this week. I'm really trying to channel everything I have into being put-together and self-confident, beautiful, appropriately enthusiastic, and well spoken. I believe in myself. I know I have what it takes to go above and beyond as a rabbi/Jewish professional. I really am good at this stuff. I've gained a lot of perspective from being a stay-at-home Ima this year, and I now know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am better and my family is better when I am doing work that makes my heart sing.
For my part, in order to help this all along, I'm going to give myself extra care. I'm going to eat well, try to get some exercise, and above all, get enough sleep. I'm going to give myself naptime to really mentally prepare for these conversations. A bunch of stuff is going to slide, and the children may have to entertain one another or themselves. Our mishloach manot will be very, very simple. But if it helps, it will be so, so worth it.
So please, please put all your thoughts, vibes, hopes, prayers, or whatever it is you send out when you want to make a bid for goodwill or Goodwill that I can make something work out. I need this. We all need this.
What about you, SuperImas, SuperAbbas, SuperLadies, SuperEveryone? How was the last week? What are you going to let slide in order to give yourself the time, energy, or love that you need?
You're doing a great job, seriously. Keep up the good work.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
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Good luck! How exciting for you. Sounds like you have a lot going on with the move and possible job opportunities. I know you'll do great. :)
ReplyDeleteWelcome home!! I am absolutely sending you some positive energy this week. I know how much these opportunities mean to you!! And, I know you'll be amazing...and beautiful, and articulate, and enthusiastic. Mwah!
ReplyDelete*sigh* I'm feeling such deep sadness. The events of this weekend really and truly break my heart. Natural disasters are always awful and scary. Murder is something I will never, ever understand. (I'm not comparing the two. They are both terrible tragedies. They are also both very different tragedies and break my heart a little in different ways.)
Hmmm...This week, for me, I'm hoping to NOT let things slide. I'm planning to be *better.* Take care of myself more mindfully(particularly get more sleep, but also make sure I'm eating regularly and properly...and oy how I need to drink more water); take care of Ari better (I think I'm boring my poor little boy) by starting a music class with him, making it playgroup, AND making it to Tot Shabbat; I also NEED to be more rigid about cleaning my house, or at least honoring the cleaning schedule that I created...I have embarrassingly allowed too many things to slide (for me, anyway); and finally I am going to do a little more feeding the soul - by baking a couple of cakes AND those fabulous cookies you shared a picture of above!!
Also, Purim is awesome. I am SO excited for Ari's first Purim carnival!!
you ARE awesome and those are seriously the most beautiful hamantaschen...
ReplyDeleteYou are AWESOME, and I so look forward to your blogs. I'm thinking of making the funfetti challah along with some stuffed apple-cinnamon hamantaschen for Shabbat and Purim... the key word in that sentence is THINKING. But, this week, I decided that I am going to really get my PhD application done. Even if it means someday I'll have to start a blog called PhD and Parenthood... So, here's to wanting it all... and letting some of it slide (like the mess). *hug*
ReplyDeleteOh wow those Oznei Haman Look AMAZING! look forward to seeing the post about them!
ReplyDelete(hard to do/write anything "mundane" on a weekend filled with so much pain and suffering)
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Daniela
http://isreview1.blogspot.com
Ladies! Thanks so much for your comment love, especially re: my hamantaschen! You all are fabulous.
ReplyDeletePhyllis and Halli, I'm taking your comments with me this week. It really does help. Thank you.
Halli, I hope this week turns out to be what you're after. It's hard to keep on top of everything AND get enough sleep. YOu're doing an awesome job.
See you next week, ladies!