SuperIma Sunday Check-in: Ima's Day

*Sigh*  Ima's Day is always so hard on me.  I know that some people have a really wonderful relationship with their mothers, and other people don't.  And it always makes me really wonder - what does it take to be a good mother?

 I mean, on Mother's Day, I always think about how I've done so much for my kids - gestating and giving birth to them, for starters, and then feeding them and keeping them clean and ALIVE each and every day. And sometimes entertained.  But then I think that all those things are really something I *have* to do, not something that it's awesome that I did.

How do I make sure that I have a really strong, lasting relationship with my kids?  If I really get to thinking about it, words like, "trust," "respect," "involvement," and "dependability" knock around in my head, but that fails to answer the questions of "What if they do something I hate?" or "What if I don't like them?" or, maybe worst, "What if we just don't get along?"  I'm pretty sure parenting means I'm supposed to do all those lofty things I just mentioned anyway, but oh my G-d, it is so, SO hard.  I know.  I've seen it happen.

*sigh*

Anyway, I'm sure it would all be a lot easier if I wasn't 1. Exhausted and 2. Resentful.  I had two big dreams for this Mother's Day.

Dream #1 - No one would ask me about food for the entire weekend.  For example:  "Leigh Ann, do we have food for the kids?" (translation - Leigh Ann, please prepare and serve lunch to the children, after you've made sure they all wash their hands with soap and water and are sitting quietly at the table.) or: "Hon, what were our plans for dinner?" (translation - What are you planning to cook/have already cooked for me to heat up.)
Reality #1 - I worked all week to get food ready for the weekend, but still had to potchken over at least two meals a little bit.  Also, I prepped and packed breakfast for this morning (for David's mother) and am gearing up to cook dinner for this evening (because David is swamped with a last minute project.)

Dream #2 - No one would ask me about clothing for the entire weekend.  For example:  "Leigh Ann, do we have clothes for the kids?"  Translation: "Leigh Ann, please locate and assemble appropriate and clean outfits for all three of the children, and bring them here, so I can dress/play with one of them while you dress two."
Reality #2 - I've already done two loads of laundry and retrieved three separate clothing items.

Now, I'm not full-on complaining.  David gave appropriate respect to Mother's Day this year, and treated my camera (to a new lens) and my right hand (to that daughter's ring I've been wanting to go with my two sons' rings.)  And people have said "Happy Mother's Day," and I've gotten cards.  And yesterday I got to leave the house for a whole morning to do some writing.  (Yes, I did have to do damage control before and after.)

Also, one of the blogs I follow posted this:\

I was sitting on a bench
while in a nearby mall,
When I noticed a young mother
with two children who were small.

The youngest one was whining,
"Pick me up," I heard him beg
but the mother's face grew angry
as the child clung to her leg.

"Don't hang on to me," she shouted
as she pushed his hands away,
I wish I'd had the courage
to go up to her and say...

"The time will come too quickly
when those little arms that tug,
Won't ask for you to hold them
or won't freely give a hug."

And SERIOUSLY?  I know it's supposed to make me appreciate my kids more, but it just made me feel SHAMED for not wanting to pick my kids up sometimes.  Because I'm sure, like me, that that poor mom in the mall had been up since 5 AM and had already picked up her kid five million times that day.  And she probably also hugged and kissed and loved on him too, but that one judgmental lady in the durn shopping mall wanted to butt in and tell her how to be a good mom. 

This is all very disjointed, and I guess it's just an emotional day for me for a lot of reasons.  If any of you has any thoughts on any of this stuff, I'd love to hear them.  Unless you're telling me to stop complaining and go be a mother instead of writing this post.  Then I'll delete you, because it's my blog and I can do what I want.

Oh, right!  We still have to check in.

Well, we're moving this week (!!!!!!!!!!!!!HAPPY DANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) so it's going to be all about organizing and planning, making arrangements for people to sit with the kids so I can unpack (oh, luxury!) etc.

Also, I have to finish my book.  But who cares about that?  It's just a silly thing I'm doing.  What's really important is that we have clothes for the kids.

I'm going to try to shower every day this week.  I think that's the best I can do.

What about you, SuperImas?  How has your week been?  What are your goals for self care this coming week?  What are you going to be more relaxed about to let it happen?


You're doing an incredible job, Supers.  Keep on keepin' on, everyone.


(Also, please go visit Shannon and Blessed Little Bird, two of my most favorite ladies in the whole wide midwest, who checked in even before I did this week.  Love you two!)

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!!

(The requisite 2011 Ima's Day shot.  I had to swap heads to achieve a shot where Ashi wasn't glaring too much, and Rami wasn't screaming at the horror of sitting on my lap and being asked to smile.  But then they gave me kisses and it was okay.)