Hey my sweet supers! Before you read my short-and-sweet check in, run over to visit SuperLady Amanda who asked herself: "!?!?!?!" today. She's going through a few life changes and feeling a bit discombobulated. Then go visit Shannon, whose kid runs from fun splash pads like my kids hold their ears and scream at fun kid concerts. Yeah.
So, here at the Kopans Bayit, this was the first week of what will hopefully be the road to Reconstruction. I use this post-war term not lightly - the last year of me being a stay-at-home mom was pretty devastating. I started back at work on Thursday, and I'm just gonna say it - I feel useful for the first time in a year and a half. And I know what you're going to say: "But you fed children! Kept a peaceful house! Blogged like a MoFo! Wrote a book!" Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know.
It's irrational, this need to work, in the world. To feel indispensable. To feel like I'm filling a role most other people couldn't fill.
So, even though the house is a D-I-S-A-S-T-E-R, I already feel better.
I'm still feeling pretty wishy-washy about this blog, to be honest. I've thought of about five blog posts I really *should* do over here, about how we cope with being a two-working-parents family, organizationally, food wise, etc, but I just...haven't. Haven't written them. Haven't given enough of a you-know-what about the ultra-healthy granola bars I made for my kids' breakfasts, or how I organize their outfits for each week.
Maybe I need to give myself some time to start feeling positive IN ANY WAY about anything that has to do with keeping children and home.
Maybe I'm momentarily super extra exhausted and it'll pass in a month or so.
Anyway. This week I've got some home goals - work on getting the house cleaner before we leave each day. I hate coming home to a messy house. I'm going to sacrifice sitting on my butt with a cup of coffee for ten minutes in the morning - ten minutes can go a long way when you're focused.
What about you, any of my dear supers still reading? How are you getting along? What are your goals for the week, and what are you doing to make them happen?
You are doing such an awesome job. Really. Hugs to all of you.
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2 hours ago
What are my goals for the week? Mostly to be less of a B**** to my family. Whenever they are not in the house with me, I feel quite fond of them. But then they come home, and want stuff, and make the place a total mess, and ... you know.
ReplyDeleteI'm feeling really blah about the whole at-home-mother thing right now. I've been through ups and downs on it before, so I try to reap some wisdom from my kvetching (we need to have a Serious Discussion about who is really insisting on music lessons, etc), and then keep going until I feel better. So, maybe you should just embrace not giving a toss about things domestic for now and trust that balance will reassert itself eventually?