The Frugal Ima

SuperIma Sunday Check-in: I Tried, Friends...

2011-09-18T18:53:00.000-07:00

Before you read my epic (perhaps final?) check-in - go visit my friends Amanda, who is understandably mourning the end of "The Hunger Games" series, and Shannon, who's hoping to add a bit of structure to structureless afternoons this week.

Okay, supers. I tried.

It's been a really tough few weeks, housework wise.

David's working nonstop. Nonstop. He doesn't sleep.

So of course I'm doing all the housework. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, picking up. Trash removal. All of it. It's a little less since the kids aren't home all day, but there's still at least one load of laundry every day, cooking and serving for three meals a day (gotta prep lunches!) and then cleaning up, both the kitchen and the living room. If I have to look at one more pot or pan, to cook with it or to clean it up afterwards, I'm going to throw it across the kitchen.

There are three baskets of clean laundry that have been sitting in my bedroom for as long as nine days, and I can't bring myself to put them away. I just can't. I already vaccuumed the carpet twice today and I can't do it again. Cannot.

And this space right here? This sweet blog that I started so optimistically, certain that I could be good at anything if I tried hard enough, even housewifery?

I kind of hate it now.

My escape has been writing. I don't know how long it'll last, but I'm really trying to make a go of this publication thing. And I love the writing blog, and especially the writing itself, and everything that goes with it. I'm excited to blog there three times a week, and to lose sleep over a new story.

But over here? When I realize it's Sunday, this check-in feels like a chore. And that is SO not the point.

So, I think this is going to be my last check-in, if not forever, at least for now. At least till I no longer start seething when I think about having to clean the kitchen and do dishes for the second or third time in one day. As long as I don't feel like I'm suffocating when I look at any laundry, anywhere.

I love you all for following me for this long. Truly. I hate being a quitter. But this is something I just have to quit.

Want to share your plans for the week, one last time?
You're doing an incredible job. Always did. Keep on keepin' on.

SuperIma Sunday Check-in: Things are Looking Up, Ima-Wise

2011-09-11T15:24:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone! Before you read my first positive check-in in about a year, run over to visit my Wisconsin bestie Amanda, (no, I've never met her. So?) who remembers where she was ten years ago on September 11. Then run over to visit Shannon, who's had a killer week. And not in the best way (but not in the worst either.) Go give her a hug.

So, I've been back in the office for six working days, and away from the full-time Ima gig (which is really much MORE than full time, even more than double full time, if you're keeping track) for THREE WEEKS now.

And things are looking up, Ima-wise.

If I'm being honest, my most urgent goal in going back to work was to keep myself from hating my children.

Yeah. I said it. It's true. When the weekend hit, whenever David wasn't working (which is like half the weekend anyway) and sometimes when he wasn't, I wanted nothing more than to get away from the children. Usually, the house too. I couldn't stand to be there, couldn't stand to look at them or it or the dishes or the laundry.

But this Shabbos morning? The weather was beautiful and the children were suddenly somehow very sweet to love and touch and hold and play with. And so I said,

"Who wants to go apple picking?"

So we went. And it ruled.

Yes, there was disobedience. Yes, there were tantrums. Yes, they smeared my kitchen with cholent and littered the carpet with challah crumbs when we got home. But I didn't really mind that much.

And that's how I know I'm doing better.

So, that's it for my check-in. Now for the week's plans.

This is our busy season at work. For a normal rabbi, September-October is insane because of High Holidays, a month literally packed full of pretty intense holiday prep and celebration, services and sermons. But I'm a CAMPUS rabbi (woot woot, Go Bucks!) and so on top of the High Holidays is also spirit week for the sororities, then Welcome Week, then the first week of classes. So I can't really take the next two weeks to concentrate exclusively on prep for services, and I actually can't even rest my voice. At all.

That means that I definitely, definitely don't have much time to write. But I owe it to myself to do a little something I love every day, so I'm shooting for 250 words a day. That's one page.

In order to do it, I'm letting go of a few things. First, my fantasy that I'm actually going to make and send Rosh HaShanah cards this year. Let's just say it now. I'm not. I'm relaxing on dinner, like I did last week when I sinus infection tried to kill me (the Z-Pac my doctor gave me won, thanks for asking.) We ate spaghetti most nights and no one cried. Not too much, anyway.

Oh, and I'm not folding laundry either, but that's kind of normal now.

My sweet supers, how are you? What are your plans to bring some sanity into your life this week, and how are you going to make it a priority?

You're all doing an amazing job. I'm so proud of you.

SuperIma Sunday Check-In: Gonna Be Fast

2011-09-04T15:35:00.000-07:00

Hey my sweet supers! Before you read my short-and-sweet check in, run over to visit SuperLady Amanda who asked herself: "!?!?!?!" today. She's going through a few life changes and feeling a bit discombobulated. Then go visit Shannon, whose kid runs from fun splash pads like my kids hold their ears and scream at fun kid concerts. Yeah.

So, here at the Kopans Bayit, this was the first week of what will hopefully be the road to Reconstruction. I use this post-war term not lightly - the last year of me being a stay-at-home mom was pretty devastating. I started back at work on Thursday, and I'm just gonna say it - I feel useful for the first time in a year and a half. And I know what you're going to say: "But you fed children! Kept a peaceful house! Blogged like a MoFo! Wrote a book!" Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know.

It's irrational, this need to work, in the world. To feel indispensable. To feel like I'm filling a role most other people couldn't fill.

So, even though the house is a D-I-S-A-S-T-E-R, I already feel better.

I'm still feeling pretty wishy-washy about this blog, to be honest. I've thought of about five blog posts I really *should* do over here, about how we cope with being a two-working-parents family, organizationally, food wise, etc, but I just...haven't. Haven't written them. Haven't given enough of a you-know-what about the ultra-healthy granola bars I made for my kids' breakfasts, or how I organize their outfits for each week.

Maybe I need to give myself some time to start feeling positive IN ANY WAY about anything that has to do with keeping children and home.

Maybe I'm momentarily super extra exhausted and it'll pass in a month or so.

Anyway. This week I've got some home goals - work on getting the house cleaner before we leave each day. I hate coming home to a messy house. I'm going to sacrifice sitting on my butt with a cup of coffee for ten minutes in the morning - ten minutes can go a long way when you're focused.

What about you, any of my dear supers still reading? How are you getting along? What are your goals for the week, and what are you doing to make them happen?

You are doing such an awesome job. Really. Hugs to all of you.

SuperIma Sunday Check-in: A Magical Week

2011-08-28T11:47:00.000-07:00

Before you read my extra-joyful check-in for this week, go over and visit Shannon, who is stressed, and Amanda, who's taking baby steps to make her house a home.

This week was a magical week. There's just no other way to say it.

The children all went to school. Every day. All day long. And me? I wrote. And wrote and wrote and wrote.

Every day, I woke up, worked out, showered, did the frantic let's-get-ready-for-school dance, and shuttled the children off to school. Then I went to a coffee shop and wrote. For five or six hours. Then I left when I got hungry. Then I ate lunch, then went to work on some stories for my critique partners.

Until about 3 PM every day, I didn't have to think of a single person other than myself. (After that, I cooked dinner or folded laundry or scrubbed toilets, then went and got the kids and did dinner/bedtime till I collapsed.) But just the feeling of being able to get in and out of the car without strapping and unstrapping three other bodies and corralling them and their toys? Or being able to go to the bathroom on my own? Or being able to eat ANYTHING without mopping the floor afterwards?

Oh, my. I'm still swooning.

The fruits? I slept a full night's sleep pretty much every night and and AND? I wrote 19,000 words of my new story. That is ONE QUARTER OF ALL THE WORDS I NEED, people. In a week. It's incredible.

Now. Would I want to continue this? No no no. No. It feels like an awfully silly existence for an unpublished, unagented, un book-dealed writer to keep up. I'm SO glad I'm going back to work this week (woot woot!) But as a week of detox, it was GOLDEN. Amazing.

Oh, heck. It was like a freaking vacation.

Now. I didn't meet pretty much any of my goals from last week, house-wise. We're not more organized than we were before, and the house is a far cry from deep cleaned. But I'm so, so glad. I wouldn't change a thing.

Today, we're sort of back in the game. Before noon, I worked out, sent some emails, showered, made dinner and lunch menus, went shopping, unloaded groceries, made granola bars for the kids' breakfasts, hard-boiled eggs for lunches, did three loads of laundry, got dolled up, printed materials for, drove to, and officiated at a baby naming ceremony, then ran back home and administered lunch and naptime. BEFORE NOON.

I could go to sleep right now, but if I don't take the kids to the park after their nap, they are likely to kill me and/or each other.

And that's a normal Sunday. We're back in the game.

So, give us your check ins, Supers! How was your week, and what are you committing to change this coming week so you can take a load off?

SuperIma Sunday Check-in: Yawn DIE

2011-08-21T18:50:00.000-07:00

Before you read yet another ultra-boring check in with me, go over and see Shannon, who's telling us about her new attitude toward check-ins and life in general, and Amanda, who has a bug problem. Yuck. But awesome, because she has pictures.

So, it was David's birthday today. I have a picture of the incredible cake I made and his incredible birthday present, but getting to them would require me to haul my lazy butt off the couch at this juncture and I literally cannot bring myself to do it.
(Nevermind. I felt guilty. Here it is.)

Remember how last week I said I was going to use this week to get all the stuff for the first day of school together?

Wrong. I waited till today. And it sucked. Forms, sunblock, blankets, pillows, checks, loveys, three changes of clothes, diapers, wipes, and paste....whoa. I forgot how much stuff these little buggers need.

(This is about half the stuff gathered, before I packed it up. We have four garbage bags plus backpacks full of first-day acoutrements.)

This coming wee, the kids aren't going to be in the house. Not at all. We're calling it a "transition week" so it doesn't sound so wasteful and lazy on my part. Ahem.

This week, I'm going to deep clean the whole house, a little each day, make menu plans for Sept and Oct INCLUDING all the holidays (that's four holidays total, plus Shabbats), and then? I'm going to write.

I have a 5,000 word a day goal. Wish me luck.

What about you, Supers? How was your last week, and what are your goals for the coming one? What are you going to let slide to make it possible?

Love you all. You're doing an awesome job.

SuperIma Sunday Check-in: Migraine

2011-08-14T14:47:00.000-07:00

Before you read my whiny check-in, run over and hang out with the incredible Renaissance-Faire-going Shannon, then go say "hi" to my Wisconsin bestie Amanda who's been busy gardening, baking, and just being fabulous.

You guys? I have one of those ridiculous migraines. You know, where everything feels kind of dizzy and maybe you're nauseous but most importantly, your temples are caught in a vice and every step you take, move you make, and child that whines tightens it a leeetle bit more?

And also, you know how Sunday is the day where I do all the cleaning and chopping of vegetables, and where I pre-cook for the whole week, and wash, sort, and fold laundry, and generally try to put my house back together from the whirlwind that is Shabbos?

Kill me now.

So, I just finished all the chopping of veggies and making of tuna salad and enchiladas and boiling of beans, and the whole time I was doing it I chanted to myself, "I cook from scratch so I can afford a babysitter. I cook from scratch so I can afford a babysitter. I cook from scratch so I can afford a babysitter."

And the migraine hurt a little less.

Because it's true. I have been hiring a babysitter, twice a week for three hours, so that I can go to Barnes and Noble to write. Or go to a doctor's appointment, or shop for clothes, or get my hair cut, or run an errand all by myself. And I would rather have one hour of a babysitter than one dinner from Chipotle. Hands down. Even with a migraine.

It's self-indulgent. It's not frugal. It's taking away from what we could be saving every month. And it's (just barely) keeping me out of the psych ward.

So, that's pretty much my update from the last week. I'm letting our savings slide so I can have a babysitter. It kept me just sane enough to go through the fall clothes, and to report that I don't think we need anything (!!!!) except maybe a couple pairs of pants for Nesyah. I'm psyched.

The new project (which rules) is coming right up on 16,000 words, not bad for a project I started a week and a half ago.

Now, here's the real news. I have the best husband in the universe.
The kids were supposed to start in full-time daycare the day I started back at work - September 1st.
He called the daycare/preschool and SIGNED THEM UP TO START A WEEK AND A HALF EARLY.

I'm going to let that sink in.

I'm going to have a week and a half to deep clean the house, get everything organized, start High Holiday prep, and STILL write for many, many hours a day. And I just know that when the kids come home, they'll be excited about what they did at school, they'll have some adjustment time, and I'll feel a LOT more positive about spending time with them when I've had some genuine time to regroup.

When I think about it, I start to cry. I am so happy.

Now I'm off to wallow in migraine self-pity land, and also try to get some stuff written. I'm an idiot.

What about you, Supers? How was your last week? What are your goals for this coming week, and what are you going to do to make sure they happen?

I love you all. You're doing an incredible job.

SuperIma Sunday Check-In: Crash Edition

2011-08-07T15:06:00.000-07:00

Before you read my boring and uneventful check-in, please visit my Wisconsin bestie Amanda to read all about her delicious neices' visit. One of them is delightfully ringletted. Yum. Then scoot over to Shannon, a little south in Chicago, who is coming back from BLOGHER and has a pretty new font on her blog. Kisses, ladies!

Hey, Supers! How are you this week (disclosure: I just typed that sentence, "How you are this week?" so that should give you a sense of my general state of mind.)???

Let's all take a collective sigh of relief when I say this: I feel better than I've felt in a year. I went to The Hillel Institute, which is the annual conference for Hillel (Jewish life on campus) staff and student leaders. I saw one of my bestest besties from rabbinical school (Hi, Nomi, if you're reading this, love you!) and a bunch of other rab school buddies for the first 24 hours or so, and then - the STUDENTS CAME!!!!

You may not have known this about me, but college-aged people are pretty much the only group of people that I consistently enjoy hanging out with. It's true. And all the students were new, since I'd been gone for a year. Getting to meet our next great batch of student leaders (I think 16 attended and 7 are still to meet back home) was SO gratifying and got me so pumped for the year ahead.

Even though the conference had us scheduled for 12-14 hours a day, I also started a NEW WRITING PROJECT (get excited) since my first one is mostly complete and sitting in a drawer till I try to lure an agent with it in October. And you guys? With no kitchen to clean, meals to prep, laundry to wash, or tushies to wipe, I still got 9000 (that's NINE THOUSAND) words written on it. And I'm in love. So that's good.

Goals for this week: The kids' return to 'school' is looming about two weeks away, and we are SO not ready. I've got medical forms to have filled out by doctors, dentist appointments to take everyone to, and the dreaded Trying On of the Clothes. I need systems in place for setting out outfits for the whole week, like we used to do, and planning lunches in addition to dinners. We're hosting Shabbat dinner this week, but it's just a pasta bar, and I already baked the challot and the brownies, so that shouldn't be much trouble. ON TOP OF ALL THAT, I need to critique a chapter a day for my sweet new critique partner, Jenny, and write 750 words a day on my new project.

Oh! What am I going to let slide? We might have pasta for dinner every night because I am still sick of cooking. Four days gone didn't help that at ALL.

Should be awesome! What are your goals for this coming week, and what are you going to let slide to make it happen?

Hugs and kisses to everyone! You're doing an awesome job.

Super Sunday Check-In: I Think the Check-in Is Gonna Stay....

2011-07-31T11:13:00.000-07:00

....but get a lot shorter, and have lots of links.

Hey supers!

1. I love you all. Yes, even you. You know who you are. Oh! And especially you.
2. I love checking in with everyone, but typing big check-ins like I've been doing feels stressful to me, so for now I'm going to be completely wishy-washy (love that oxymoron, right?) and post shorter check-ins here, with links to elsewhere.

Here's why: On my writing blog, no one wants to read about housecleaning (I don't even want to read about housecleaning, to be honest.) Over here, no one cares more than a flying fig about how many words I typed, or the special nuances of writing....*snore.* See how that happened? No good.

Welcome to Week 3 of my ongoing confessions of burnout. (I'll understand if you leave right now.)
I'm so burnt out with housekeeping and cooking that I'm pretty much ignoring it at this point, in favor of writing. Which, in a really non-significant way, has paid off. I've been so obsessed with my manuscript and all its related documents (query letters, synopses, blog posts, etc.) that I've decided, outside of any last-minute changes that leap off the computer screen and surprise me that I am....wait for it....

Ready To Query.

(That means "Look for an agent to attempt to sell my cute little collection of words to a Big Publisher.")
This is not as big of a deal as it seems. Finding an agent is like winning the lottery, and it's highly likely that I won't. But still....normal people win the lottery all the time, and I *think* my manuscript might be a tad bit above normal.

So, that's my check-in. My bathroom hasn't been cleaned in two weeks and the kids' hasn't been done in a good four days. There are crumbs everywhere and the carpet is scuzzy (for real.) I've made no strides toward getting ANYTHING ready for my trip to the Hillel Conference this week (OhmyGodIcannotwait), but, hey. I'm feeling good about my writing-for-fun project that somehow turned into a novel.

Wheeee!

This coming week, I'm going to go to the Hillel Conference in Saint Louis and see some of my dearest friends from rabbinical school, and to collaborate and learn and get excited about this coming year at Hillel. It's going to rule. And I'm going to sleep 6 hours a night AND write two hours every day, because you know what?

I WON'T HAVE TO COOK ANY MEALS, WIPE ANY TUSHIES, OR SCRUB ANY FLOORS! From Tuesday night till Sunday morning!!!!

Oh, you guys, I seriously just started crying when I typed this.

What about you? How was this past week? What are your goals for the future week? Wanna meet me in St. Louis for a drink?

SuperIma Sunday Check-In: Frugal Fails and Out of the Revisions Cave

2011-07-24T14:33:00.000-07:00

Before you read my incredibly self-indulgent check-in, visit my friends Shannon, whose house has been a-rockin' (not for the reason you think - I don't think) and Amanda (who hosted an incredible Shabbos dinner this week).

Hey, Supers.

First, I want to thank you for indulging me in my epic bloggy breakdown six days ago.

It's no secret that I'm not cut out for this stay-at-home Ima stuff. Top that off with how David works probably 18 hours a day (no exaggeration) and does about two percent of the housework (that includes preventing the children from killing each other,) and you can call me burned out.

I thought that writing this here frugal Ima blog starting about a year ago would make me feel like my stay-at-home-ness was worthwhile and fulfilling. It did for a little while, and then...it didn't anymore. I never blog here anymore (in case you hadn't noticed) because I HATE everything to do with house and cooking, children and homemaking. Well, I don't hate it, I guess, I hate writing about it (but really I hate it a little too.)

Some people would have started drinking or emotionally eating, but I started writing. That's really my addiction right now. I wake up in the middle of the night to jot down or change, ignore my children, and type till my hands hurt to get just one more task done.

When I go back to work in about T-5 weeks (thank-HaShem-in-heaven-I-need-this-so-badly), I really hope the burnout evens itself out and I start blogging on our family blog and maybe here again. But right now, I just can't stand to spend one more minute thinking about house, kitchen, or children than I have to (yes, I am a horrible person.)

So, I'm thinking about moving the check-in to my writing blog, since this blog is otherwise dormant. Thoughts?

Anyway, this week's check-in. This past week I was in the revision cave, as my beta reader was finishing up reading and critiquing my 300-plus pages and I was frantically making changes and corrections according to her critiques. Whilst in the revision cave, I:

Freaked out and made David pick up Chipotle for dinner one night.
Freaked out and hired $90 worth of babysitters each week until September.

Both Frugal Fails. And I really don't care. Seriously, I will LOSE. MY. MIND if I don't start getting away from these children a few hours a week. It's the whining and the hitting, and the screaming, dear God, the screaming. And looking at cooking food or pots and pans has literally given me an anxiety attack at least twice this week. I really can't handle it anymore.

BURNOUT. What you don't want to happen to your cheery housewife. (that's a good tagline for a spa or something, huh?)

See why I think I should let this blog go? See???

Anyway, now that I'm out of the revision cave and in Official Second Draft Land (hopefully to be followed sometime this fall by Querying Adventurescape), I hope to be a little less obsessive about my writing, and actually start getting things in order for my return to Real Work.

For example, here is my professional wardrobe:

I should probably go through that and see what, if anything, still fits me, and then HANG IT UP IN THE CLOSET like a civilized person.

Oh, wait. That's still self-indulgent. Oh, well.

Supers, what's on the agenda for the week? What do you hope to accomplish, and what's going to slide to let you do it?

(Also, should I quit this blog?)

You're doing an awesome, awesome job. Keep on keepin on.

SuperIma MONDAY check-in (oy): How Does Anyone Do This?

2011-07-18T06:50:00.000-07:00

This week, unfortunately, I'm sharing the Check-In of Despair. For motivation and inspiration to be a *healthy* human being, run over to Shannon and Amanda's blogs. They both checked in on time, and seem to be doing okay. *sigh.*

I think I have finally reached my breaking point. I am overwhelmed. SO overwhelmed. And all I do is watch the kids, keep the house, and work a little bit. But the "work" isn't work, per se, because I'm not getting paid for it. So it's a hobby, I guess.

My kids are miserable. And it's not because I don't do stuff with them. Last week we did some activity every day. We went to the farm, and the water fountains, and the North Market. We went for walks around the block. We fingerpainted. We played in the pool in the backyard.

Still, they are bored as all get out and acting up. Asher is throwing temper tantrums and hitting everyone. Rami follows me around like a lost puppy, saying the same thing over and over again until I repeat what he's saying. (This morning the phrase was "What's my butt doing?" Charming.) Nesyah is throwing a tantrum over E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G, often slamming herself into furniture, the wall, or the floor and injuring herself in the process. Asher and Rami are *constantly* crying and whining about something. No one says "please" or "thank you." Every mealtime and bedtime is an all-out battle to get the kids to stay at the table or in their beds without screaming or pounding on something, or injuring one another.

This morning, by 9:00, I:
Worked out and showered.
Did a half hour's work on a book I'm critiquing (not that strenuous, this lady is ready to publish I think)
Made breakfast, lunch, and dinner for everyone.
Did a load of laundry
Mixed, kneaded, and baked a batch of challah
Unloaded the dishwasher and cleaned the kitchen
Fed the children and got them dressed.

But I still have to:
Find two different doctors (we're new to the area) and make appointments for everyone
Print and fill out forms for the kids' s "school"
Find a dentist and make appointments for everyone
Prepare for a work meeting I have today during naptime
Arrange for sitters for a work conference I'm going to in a few weeks
Fold and put away three loads of laundry
Clean the bathroom
Clean the lower level for work meeting during naptime
Do *something* to entertain the children
Feed the kids lunch and get them down for a nap.

All before 1:30. Oh. And I HATE all of those jobs.

The kids have been up for three and a half hours. They are nearing the end of their second viewing of "Madagascar." If I ask them to play on their own, you guys, the screaming and the hitting and the whining is INCREDIBLE. I cannot deal with it.

I would send the boys to day camp, but they won't take children as young as Nesi, so it doesn't help much anyway. And that's money that we can't just throw around.

So, I ask again - HOW DOES ANYONE DO THIS??????

Yeah. I'm nearing the end of my rope with this whole stay-at-home-mother business. Can't do it. Just can't. Can. Not.

But that's not the reason I didn't post yesterday. I didn't post because I went to see the Harry Potter movie, and I wept, and when I got home I was so emotionally spent that I couldn't function. I did not expect that reaction. (Hm, do you think something else is going on?)

Anyhoo. It's been a rough week. ( Excuse me, I have to go stop Asher from smothering Nesi with a blanket. Seriously.)

Supers, I submit to you this week. Nothing else can slide. There is trash and crumbs strewn across the dining room table and the living room. I have no idea which of the laundry the kids have pulled out of baskets and strewn across the floor is clean and which is dirty. The kids have watched a lot of TV. I sleep about 5 hours a night. Our meals are as simple as they come. I feel like I am drowning.

Hmmm. Maybe some commiseration would do the trick? Leave it in the comments, please. Thanks. :)

SuperIma Sunday Check-in: Brush with Celebrity Edition

2011-07-10T03:22:00.000-07:00

Happy New Week, everyone! It's gonna be a good one, I can feel it. Before you read my post, run on over to regular checker-inners Amanda (who has a challah blog, did you know?) and Shannon who is BACK TO WORK!!! *cue angels singing.*

So you know how I have a little writer's blog that I hardly ever post to because I'm so obsessed with, ya know, writing?

A couple weeks ago I read the BEST book I've read since the Hunger Games Trilogy, and that's saying A LOT.

I mean, seriously, this book tore my heart out, made me smile, and left me thinking about it for DAYS. Now, I don't know about you, but when I luuuurve a book I get kind of a celebrity crush on the author. Now, some authors are kind of stand-offish, internet wise. If you go to their website you see a professional headshot of them, a bio, and some information about their books, and that's pretty much it.

But Elana Johnson? She blogs all the time, and posts all kinds of ra-ra-you-can-do-it writing advice, and responds to questions in her discussion forums, and cheers on her fellow authors when their books debut. The other day I commented on one of her posts encouraging all the writers in the trenches.

Then, yesterday, there was an email in my inbox from "Elana Johnson." I kid you not, I almost lost my breakfast I was so excited. She left a comment on my blog! MY. BLOG.

*jaw drops to floor*

I would be keeping something from you if I didn't tell you I hyperventilated, then cried a little, then sighed and smiled a lot.

This is just one reason I say all the time - "God loves the internet." Because God knows, I needed that yesterday.

So, goals: This past week I did NOT meet my goal of writing 1600 words a day on my new project. I know, shocker. That was kind of an insane goal, especially when you have two people reading your first draft and giving you excellent feedback and suggestions. I ended up changing a LOT of stuff on the first draft, and working on it a lot of hours, including a THREE HOUR BLOCK that David gave me yesterday morning (love you, honey.) So, I got some pretty serious revision done, plus shaved off almost 1500 words. Even though that wasn't my original goal, I'm calling last week a win.

Also we hosted a fabulous Shabbat dinner and no one complained about the food, and I got a bunch of work done for my real job which starts in September, and no one called CPS on me all week. (In all seriousness, I didn't ignore my kids that much, and they had a zoo trip and two trips to play in the water fountains, so don't worry.) So that's a win too.

This week I'm going to get back to basics and put the timer on myself. It helps me to stay focused and gives me the amazing ability to say "what I've done all week." I'm giving a solid half hour or a broken full hour to critiquing my friend Gina's project every day. That's enough time to re-read and give comments on one chapter, so hopefully she'll have seven more critiqued chapters by this time next week from me (hi, Gina!) I'm going to spend another hour each day on my own writing stuff, either generating new words or fixing ones I've already written, but NOT wasting time on reading writing blogs, as fun as it is.

What about you, supers? How was last week? What's this week shaping up to look like?
You are doing a GREAT job. Yes, you. Way to go.

SuperIma Sunday Check-in: Birthday Weekend Extravaganza

2011-07-03T10:40:00.000-07:00

Happy New Week, Supers! (Or as we Jews say, Shavua Tov.)

Before you read my check-in, go visit regular checker-inners Amanda, who has a BIG announcement for everyone (no, she's not pregnant, stop asking her okay?) and Shannon, who has a new nephew! Also please welcome to the blogosphere my friend Elle at her new blog about her year studying to be a rabbi in Israel, and her sister Yaffa's blog I Put Birds on Things, a tribute to Elle's year abroad. (This meidele is only 13 but she is SO funny and her writing is so good. I hope my kids are that close someday.) Okay. Here we go.

Wow. It's hot in my kitchen. We're expecting a table full of guests for next Shabbos, so I've already started the baking. I was inspired by Deb over at Smitten Kitchen (I know, what's new, right?) and made these incredible homemade oreos for Asher's birthday:

What can I say? I'm a sucker for custom colors in cookies. In anything, really. Anyway, these things were so cute and awesome that I decided to bake up a big pareve batch of 'em for Shabbos. So they're rotating in and out of the oven, along with a couple of batches of challah, and I'm schvitzing up a storm. But hey, better now than Friday, and also I have my netbook and occasionally stopping to type, so I'm happy as a clam (could be.)

Also? I finished the first draft of my little writing for fun project, which I think I am now finally brave enough to refer to as "my novel." Huh. That makes my stomach flip. I bought myself a url to celebrate. Wheee!

That is to say, it's been a good week. I got SO much done for myself, I can hardly believe it. I even had time to read my friend Gina's work-in-progress (btw you are going to swoon when this baby gets published and hits the shelves, it's incredible.)

This week on the docket: Turns out I'm so in love with the characters and my story that even two days without them is too many. They're speaking to me, y'all. Because I know my characters by now and I have a basic story line for it, I've rationalized that I should TOTALLY write the sequel, and yes you writer types, I know that makes me an idiot, but please believe me when I say this. It really and truly is just for fun. Like, 99% of it, anyway.

To that end, I've decided to jump on the NaNoWriMo bandwagon for July and August. In case you don't feel like clicking over, it's a bunch of insane people who try to write a novel in just one month. The goal is 50,000 words and that works out to about 1700 words a day (I AM INSANE.) But seriously, I think I can do it.

So, for the rest of the summer, before I kick back into rabbi-ing, I'm going to keep giving myself the daily gift of 1.5 hours worth of naptime to work on this stuff. The kids "rest" for 2 hours a day, so that only leaves half an hour every day dedicated to intense housework/cooking/what have you but so far no child has gone neglected according to this plan. Yes, I cook and clean while they're awake. Yes, they are sometimes bored to tears (you should see the staring at the ceiling that goes on around here.) But I took them to the Zoo THREE TIMES this week, so they're not doing too badly.

What about you, sweet supers? How was your week? How is this coming week going to be? What are you going to do to make it happen?

You're doing an INCREDIBLE job. Also, you look fabulous, even with the humidity. Great job.

If You Want Something Done, You've Got to Do It Yourself (Or: Replacing Heads on Family Photos)

2011-07-02T03:18:00.000-07:00

So you know how you work hard all day long to support/love/keep up after your family? And you how you love them SO much? And then it's Mother's Day, or your birthday, or whatever, and someone asks you what you want? And instead of saying "An iPad 2" or "A freaking day to myself," i.e. the selfish things you want, you say, "Oh, I just want a family picture because I LOVE AND CHERISH YOU ALL SO MUCH." And you think that you're being an awesome Ima or Abba, because really, that's a trifling, sentimental thing, hardly anything to ask, right?

Wrong.

You will hire a photographer* or go to the studio and one or more of your punk kids will decide that even though they've seen their front porch ten thousand times, today, right here and right now, during this very expensive photo session, that they MUST peer at it broodingly. And another is just going to have to glare at you, sorry Ima, there is no other option.

I'm sorry, Ima, I absolutely cannot look into the camera right now. You see, doing so would kill me. You don't want me dead, do you? (Well, Rami, after this, maybe I do.)

Okay, so this will be fun. Because I am going to show you how to literally wipe the smirk/scowl/glare off of your precious babies' faces**. Then you can pretend that your kids are sweet and compliant, and not a collection of temperamental delinquents only you and your partner know them to be.

Ahem. Let's get started.

Find two photos that you like elements of (I've been known to do it with three or even four photos, this is just the intro.)

(Does it ever disturb you to see how weird you look when you laugh? Ugh.)

Figure out which photo has MORE THINGS you like, and use the "move" tool (it looks like a hand) in the upper left corner to drag it on top of the photo that has the smiles you're going to plaster on the punk kids' faces. The replacement smiles go on the bottom, because you're going to erase the scowls away.

(Is this making sense? I really hope it is.)

Go over to the layers panel in the bottom right hand corner, and lower the opacity of the top layer to about 50%.

Now, you're going to need to do some alignment work. Decide on the first head you're going to erase, and then figure out what is closest to it/running into it. Then use the move tool (the arrow with the cross of arrows next to it, the very top left in the tools menu on the lefthand side of your screen) to line up the two layers so that those overlap. You may need to blow up or shrink the top layer and rotate it to achieve this.

(You can see that I had to enlarge the top layer a bit.)

Okay, stay with me. We're almost ready to erase, and it's SO satisfying. Bring that top layer back to 100%.

Choose the eraser tool and start erasing.

Easy does it.

Only erase enough to make the image look seamless. In this one, it was only Rami's head and hair - I could keep his shoulders the same. If you erase too much in one pass, you could end up giving someone else two heads or something.

I also ended up replacing Nesi's scowl with a slightly less scowly face.

Okay. Are you happy? Save your picture as a PDF (in case you see you've made a mistake.) Then, so you can print this picture and all your neighbors and loved ones will think your kids are perfect, go on up to the "Layer" menu and click "Flatten Image."

You're done! Congratulations! You got what you wanted, even if you did have to artificially manipulate it yourself. Print that sucker on canvas and call it a job well done.

*We are so, so lucky to have a friend who is also an incredible photographer who did these images for us gratis. Thanks Amy, we love you! Check her out at Amy Ann Photography.

** I'm using Photoshop Elements 8, but any software with photo layering capabilities should do the trick. I think Gimp has it, and it's a free download. Google it.

SuperIma Sunday Check-In: Official First Draft Edition

2011-06-26T15:46:00.000-07:00

Check-in time! Before you read mine, please go visit my friend Amanda, whose check-in is all about her incredible First Anniversary gift, and the lengths her sweet husband went to to make it happen for her. And also scoot over to the ever-awesome Shannon's blog, where she needs some ra-ra-sis-boom-bas for her awesome progress on Weight Watchers so far.

So, remember that little writing for pleasure project I deemed my pet project 365 this year?

I've spent about five months writing every day during naptime, then another two rewriting scenes, adding and subtracting characters, twisting in some plot twists, and filling some gigantic plot holes. I also axed almost 30,000 words contained in riduculous, pithy, sentimental, or ill-fitting scenes. (They're sacked away in another file and I still visit them occasionally, don't worry.)

So finally, finally, it has morphed into an 80,000 word, more or less coherent novel that I had the guts to finally write "First Draft" on this weekend, beam it to my Kindle, and begin one last pass over it before I send it to my Very Important Contact in the Publishing Business.* I owe a lot to David, who made me straighten up the office into something usable, anyone who has kindly agreed to read my drivel (you know who you are, I love you,) and my personal mentor, Professor X.

(Surveying my sad scatter of frantically scribbled post-it notes accusing my story of sucking.)

(Each post-it addressed X-ed (har) off and neatly stuck in place for prosperity. This advice from Professor X is my new personal mantra.)

In other words? My goal from last week to get this sucker done? I totally killed it.

I don't know whether to do the happy dance or throw up. Probably I should start working out again, at least. Hmm.

Speaking of throwing up, my kids picked this Shabbat and Sunday to have a wicked stomach bug. You don't want to know more details, trust me, but things are pretty gross around here.

Also! I started reading Possession by Elana Johnson and was completely captivated by her incredible writing, remarkable characters, and the beauty of the book as a whole. I read the whole thing in, like, three days. I even woke up early to read. Here's my review on Amazon. So, yeah. Go read this book now. (I would lend it to you, but it's not lending enabled on Kindle. The only bad thing about it.)

This week's goal - run my eye over all 325 pages of this sucker one more time, attach it to an email to my friend, and then....click send. I estimate I spend at least 24 hours staring at that email draft before I can bring myself to send it over.

It's the number 1 goal this week. I think I'm actually going to plan on a quiet Shabbat without guests this week so that I can really make sure I don't have any excuses to give myself for hyper-cleaning the house, cooking huge and/or fancy meals, etc., like I did this past week.

What about you, Supers? What are your goals for giving yourselves some sanity, fulfillment, or peace this week, and what's going to slide to make it happen?

You're doing an incredible job. Great work, and hugs to you!

*Yes, I know it's normal to send a perfectly polished manuscript over which one has labored over for years and rewritten at least twice, but my friend asked for my first draft. This is a little bit of a weird situation, and honestly I'm not expecting anything. But when someone asks for a full manuscript, with the caveat that they understand it's a first draft, you send them the manuscript.

SuperIma Sunday Check-In: A Room of My Own Edition

2011-06-19T16:55:00.000-07:00

You guys, I totally killed it this week. Even though I had to fill some plot holes that would have taken you to China, correct sloppy writing, delete a lot of stuff, add another twist, and even change some names, I've got about ten chapters edited that weren't even close to presentable a week ago.

You know why? It's just like my homegirl Virginia Woolf said: "A woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write fiction."

Well, I don't have the money, but I do have a room of my own.

Last weekend, David really pushed me to organize our little attic "office" with sloping ceilingsand make it pretty. My desktop computer for photo editing is sitting on our rickety computer desk in the other corner, but on a whim I bought this sweet red peanut desk from one of my college students who just graduated (Mazal, Errin!) and it fits perfectly in this other corner. I put every picture I love around it and now during naptime I spend a solid hour and a half up there, disconnected from the internet, watching the birds and pounding away on Typie (the netbook.) It's worked wonders.

And then today? Well, today was nothing short of glorious. Today was Abba's Day, and after asking David about two dozen times what he wanted to do to celebrate, I finally accepted the answer: Let him be an Abba. You see, David normally "works from home" all day Sunday, meaning I'm tasked with the extra challenge of keeping the children from jumping all over him and prying the keys off of his firm-provided laptop to use as cannonballs in their action figure battles. Also I'm supposed to do four days' worth of laundry, menu plan and grocery shop on Sunday. So basically, Sunday is like a normal day, but harder and sweatier. David "Being an Abba" meant that he would mind the children. All day long. He would even feed them lunch, and do some heavy organizational work and light cleaning around the house. And I would go away, and write. I could do the shopping at naptime, if I wanted. (I did.)

I think I got about five or six solid, uninterrupted, daytime hours of work done on my writing. I fixed SO MANY things and felt SO PRODUCTIVE AND INSPIRED. (Yes, I did mean to yell that.) Anyway. Even though David doesn't read this blog (he reads two out of four, so I figure that's fine) I want him to know how much I love him and how much more I fell for him because of his interpretation of "Abba's Day." Best. Husband. Ever.

The goal this week? Finish up the first revision/rewriting/editing/whatever on this sucker, and pick up again with posting daily on my writing blog. I have six chapters to go, so meeting this goal by Sunday is going to be a feat. I'm hoping the blog will make me feel accountable enough to really make it happen.

What am I going to let slide? Well, we've been picking new outfits out of the clean laundry basket all week and no one has died. I know, shocker. So we're going to do that again this week. We're hosting some students for Shabbat and I already decided we're just having lasagna, green salad, challah, and brownie sundaes, all of which I can prep quickly and a day or more in advance, minimizing stress. And my kids are eating meals in sandwich form, since they won't eat anything I give them anyway.

What about you, sweet Supers? How did you do with meeting your Super goals this past week? What are they for the week ahead? And what's gotta give for you to see it happen?

Love you all. You're doing a great job.

A Frugal Ima Frugal Recipe - Whole Wheat Banana Waffles

2011-06-13T10:01:00.000-07:00

I've had a change of heart - a big one. Get ready for this. I've found value to potchkening in the kitchen. A lot of value.

You see, when you are potchkening over something in the kitchen, there is usually heat involved. A hot stove or appliance is dangerous for small children to be around. They could pull a cord, yank open the oven door, drag a stool over to a hot range top. So, by kicking my children out of my potchkening presence, I am being a good mother. I don't want them running around my ankles because I want them to be safe. I'm not a bad mother at all. Not in the least! Quite the opposite, actually.

Ahhhh. Potchkening is awesome.

I have hesitated to post this recipe because it goes against my anti-fuss mantra, but in light of this realization, I'm going to give it to you now.

My kids love waffles for breakfast. It is one of the few foods they will consistently eat. Store-bought frozen waffles are easy, but they are neither cheap nor healthy. When I found this recipe for whole wheat waffles, I figured I could make them and freeze them, pulling them out and putting them in the toaster oven when I needed them. That worked perfectly, but I was still bothered by the amount of oil in the batch. 1/2 cup of oil for 8-ish waffles seemed a little excessive to me. Then, this morning, I spied these beauties on my countertop:

I decided to try subbing mashed bananas for 3/4 of the oil in the recipe. And guess what? It worked, and gave them an even greater depth of flavor and more beautiful golden brown color. These waffles being 100% whole wheat and pretty low fat, I'll even eat one myself. I like to make a double batch, so I don't have to stand over the waffle iron again for awhile.

Here's what you'll need:
6 c whole wheat flour
1 c sugar
2 tsp salt
2 tbsp baking powder
6 c buttermilk
8 eggs
3/4 c mashed ripe banana (about 1 1/2 bananas)
1/4 c vegetable oil
4 tbsp vanilla extract

Combine dry ingredients in your mixer.

Then add banana, oil, eggs, buttermilk, and vanilla. Mix them until combined and (reasonably) lump-free. Grease a hot waffle iron (you'll need to do this for each waffle) and drop a heaping 1/2 cup full of batter in the middle of the iron.

Cook for 4 minutes, then cool on a cookie sheet.

Nom nom.

Here's the price breakdown:
Whole Wheat Flour: $1.25
Eggs: $1.15
Buttermilk: $1.50
Bananas: $.50
Vanilla: $1.25 (being conservative)

$5.45 for 18 waffles = $.30/waffle. I figure that each of these waffles is equal in size to two frozen ones, so if you get a box of 10 frozen waffles for $1.50, (which you could find with a good sale) they would be the same cost as making these.

These are healthier, tastier, more impressive, and give you an excuse to kick your kids out of your awesome presence for at least a good half hour. So I'd say these win.

SuperIma Sunday Check-in: Starting to Get Desperate

2011-06-12T18:01:00.000-07:00

(Before you read this post: Please go visit my friend Amanda at Blessed Little Bird, read her check-in, and wish her a Happy First Anniversary!)

Hello, friends. Today was a banner week at the Kopans Bayit. We went on at least one walk every day, and colored with a lot of sidewalk chalk. We went on a playdate (fun, but somehow really exhausting?), hung out with some Buckeyes who were fixing to graduate and leave town (mazal tov, ladies!). I also had a real, grownup, honest-to-God meeting for work, and that felt INCREDIBLE. I wrote two blog posts on OSU Hillel's blog, and a guest post on the Challah Blog, by which I was totally star struck. But the real kicker of the whole thing was how I set up and cooked for Shabbat services/dinner for 20-ish people. In my living room.

Oh, you guys, it as SO good. I schlepped and cooked and cleaned ALL WEEK for this sucker, and it felt so nice to be hosting a big room full of people again. People filled up their plates from a buffet and sat in overflow seating (on the porch) even when it poured, and no one batted an eye. I made so much food, including like a dozen challahs, and it ALL got eaten, which you know does a poor tired frugal Ima's heart good.

Yes, it was good, but it meant that I got NOTHING. DONE. AT. ALL. on my writing for pleasure project. Which is now not strictly writing for pleasure, because my Important Friend in the Publishing Industry wants a full manuscript in T-two weeks. That's two. weeks. And I'm only on the first-pass edit, and only two thirds of the way though the book. And? And?

David's out of town through Wednesday this week.

Yeah. Yesterday I felt so frustrated about it I started crying. Like, legit weeping over the kitchen sink, because all I want to do is sit down and WRITE instead of standing over the kitchen sink or changing diaper after diaper or mopping the floor AGAIN. I actually thought I might quit, just say, forget about it, I want to get a full night's sleep and not always be obsessing over this book when hardly anyone's seen it and it will probably never be published and I don't even have any idea whether it's good. Then I stumbled across this incredible post and it gave me the succor to say I'd try another week.

I know I've been saying it week after week after week, but this week I HAVE to buckle down. We're not hosting Shabbos this week (we have other plans out of town) so I don't even have a challah to bake. I've decided I'm sacrificing nice dinners for the kids since they snub everything I make anyway. I'm letting them choose between different types of sandwiches, or Spaghetti-O's.

Speaking of which, I should get to work. I haven't touched this sucker all day.

What about you, my darling Supers? How was your past week? What's going on this week that will bring you a little, joy, contentment, or fulfillment? How are you going to make sure you let it happen?

I'll leave you with some incredible shots Amy Tannenbaum got of me and my family from the shoot I mentioned a few weeks back. If you live in Central Ohio, please contact her and have her come take some shots for you - she is working hard to build a portfolio for her business and her rates are VERY reasonable.

(Me and my sweetie - first shots of us together since our wedding nearly eight years ago. Eeek!)

(Some sweet moments with my baby girl.)

(my boys having fun.)

(The money shots. I had to do a LOT of head swapping with the RAW files, but we finally, finally got a decent family portrait. I'm over the moon.)

SuperIma Sunday Check-in: Back to Work Edition

2011-06-05T04:50:00.000-07:00

I've been waiting a long time to write this post, and now the words aren't coming so easily to me. Isn't it weird how that happens?

Over the past year, I've made it no secret that I have not been doing well as a stay-at-home-Ima. Don't get me wrong - I'm great at the job. We sing songs, bake together, do crafts, and learn our alef-bet. But while my kids have been growing and learning, I've been suffocating. In one of my check-ins, I wrote this:

"I need to get back to work. Yesterday. I need to wear high heels and do my hair every day. I need to have conversations with grownups, conversations that do not include even a mention of playdates, stomach flus, preschool, or poop. I need to use the skills that make me feel engaged and alive, because I am dying here."

Well, I'm so SO excited to let you all know that, by the grace of God and some creative thinking, I get to go back to work as Director of Religious Life at Ohio State Hillel. The position has changed in some major respects, mostly that it is now part-time. I was kind of upset about it at first, but now I'm kind of excited that it will offer me the flexibility many Imas dream of - one day a week out of the office, and summers and breaks completely off. An emphasis on time management and using the absolute best of my skills to the fullest potential.

My writing for pleasure project (Yes, it's a book. Yes, I'm still slightly embarrassed. No, you can't read it. Unless I said you can.) doesn't have to go on the backburner, because I have that one day a week to really dive into it. The kids will be in daycare five full days a week (can I get a "HALLELUYAH?") meaning that I'll have even more time to work on it, plus the free hours to do some personal career development, whether that means Jewish writing, volunteering at another organization, or taking CPE classes.

My heart is full. Things will still not be easy - I'm still responsible for running the household - but I think I'll feel so, SO much more fulfilled. More like myself. Able to be a better Ima because of it. I still have the whole summer at home with the kids ahead of me, and I already feel more optimistic and energized, just because I know there's a light at the end of the tunnel.

Thanks for your encouragement on this, Imas. It's going to be a whole new adventure.

Oh, right! We still have to check in.
In light of this news, I've been really enjoying summer.

The kids are taking random mid-morning naps on the couch, and it doesn't even bother me.

Nesyah is LOVING the putzie pool.

We eat watermelon, ice cream, or cookies on the porch after dinner and wait for Abba to come home every day.

(the kids were dressed up for a shoot here, so it's an inaccurate representation. But still cute.)

We check on our baby birds before morning walks, and ohmygoodness they are SO cute. And getting too big for their nest. *sniff*

(No, we don't ever touch them, or get very near them at all. Yes, we've seen their Ima bird bring them meal after meal, even after we've snuck a peek.)

I'm still working on a tight-ish deadline on my writing project, and I'm still only halfway through a first-pass edit. (The good news is that the first draft is finally finally DONE and I have some great readers giving me good critique.) But some things will be getting stashed in closets this week, laundry will go ignored, and the children will eat whatever they can find in the fridge for breakfast. (This morning, for example, was the last of Thursday's pizza. Eek.)

What about you, Supers? What's doing this week? How are you going to bring some joy, sanity, or rest into your life, and what has to slide to make it happen?

I am so, so grateful to each of you for being here, and for sharing every week with me. You are just the best.

You are doing an incredible job. (((HUGS))))

SuperIma Sunday Check-in: "The End" Edition

2011-05-29T19:29:00.000-07:00

I can feel it before I even start this post, friends - I am boring today. B-O-R-I-N-G. I just feel it, you know? In my bones. Like if we hung out I would be Debbie Downer womp-womping it all night, even though I'm not sad about anything.

So, I'll make this short.

This was an incredible week for Super Ima-ness. It must have been something about finally being mostly moved in our our new little home, plus the incredible twist and then twist-upon-a-twist ending sequence I dreamed up for my little writing project, but I worked SO much on it this week. Every day. It was AWESOME. I did all my Ima duties well, taking walks around the block, hosting impromptu ice cream parties, reading books and teaching handwriting, but other stuff.....well...Some days, I didn't mop or vacuum. One day, Asher wore his pajama pants all day. Another day, the kids had grilled cheese for dinner. And...wait for it...

the first draft is now officially done. I titled a scene "The End." What an incredible feeling.

This week, I've got to get a rough edit done through at least half the draft to send on to my sweet, incredible, talented readers. You know who you are. So a lot of things are going to slide, again.

Also! I had a little vanity photo session with my good friend Amy so that we could both get some head shots. Isn't she pretty?

If she got a headshot of me where I look reasonably thin and pretty, I will kiss her. I haven't been happy with the way I looked in a photo for AGES.

Then I bribed my children with unweildy watermelon slices so that they would sit still for some photos.

Please hop on over to see my fellow Supers: Amanda, who is psyched her husband is finally back in town for the sake of her waistline and wallet (and also because he's cute - her words not mine.) and Shannon, who - seriously? - had her bike stolen out of her garage IN BROAD DAYLIGHT. Incredible. So go give her some hugs.

What about you, fellow Supers? What are you doing to bring yourself some sanity, peace, or contentment this week, and what are you going to scoot over to make some room for it?

SuperIma Sunday Check-in: Unintentional Self-Deprecation Edition

2011-05-22T19:26:00.000-07:00

Hello lovely Supers!

Before I start, I want to give mad hugs and kisses to two of my blogosphere besties, Amanda and Shannon. They both wrote their own Super posts this week (as they do EVERY week.) I really wish I lived closer to Amanda this week because her hubby, the Hazz, is out of town and she threw her back out, so she could probably use some dinner brought to her house. Also Amanda made an awesome little graphic to go with her Super posts, you have to go see it! She is so cool.

I want to give a super huge virtual squeeze to Shannon for giving me props on her blog for my meal planning post this week. She said it was unnecessarily self-deprecating, and you know what? I guess it was. So thanks, Shannon, for helping me see that, in this one minuscule aspect of my life, I am awesome and successful.

It's one of those weeks, where there have been ups and downs and worries and frustrations and maybes and they're all floating around (and maybe making me cry a little) and making me exhausted, but they're not really topics for a SuperIma Sunday check-in for various reasons. Maybe (hopefully) another week.

So, a bit of a quick update on our moving-in progress. We moved in nine days ago and have 6 out of 8 rooms unpacked and tidy. We also didn't eat out at all, went grocery shopping three times (oy), went on approximately nine hundred walks around the block, and have kept up with laundry. I am BEAT.

We also had a few friends over today for a Chanukat HaBayit, which is basically saying some nice words about peace and blessings in our home and putting up a mezuzah. A bunch of our friends came over and it was SO good to see them, and, for some of them, to know that they live so close they WALKED over. Everyone ate cheese and crackers and fruit and cookies, and drank ice water because I was too cheap to buy pop for everyone. No one complained. The kids played in the putzie pool and doused each other with hose water. Nesyah ambled around the backyard naked and all the babies were squeezed and loved on about five times more than a normal Sunday. A huge WIN all around.

About my goals. Last week, I said I was going to work on my writing for pleasure project every day. That happened exactly ONE day in any valuable sort of way. It was a big fail. Now that we are mostly moved in to the house, I've really got no excuse. I have to buckle down on this sucker. The first draft is soso close to done I can taste it, and I'm sort of kind of editing at the same time. (It's complicated.) Next week, hopefully my news will be better.

What about you, Supers? Any goals for the week? Anything you're letting slide to make it happen?

You are doing an incredible job. Keep up the great work.

How I Menu Plan ~or~ In Which I am Embarrassed and Everyone Feels Sorry for David

2011-05-18T03:56:00.000-07:00

I've been outed. Kind of.

I was smug enough to post a picture on Facebook of my menu boards finally hung in our new house. Yeah, I just wanted to show everyone how awesome I think I am for menu planning. Guilty, okay?

Then, this discussion happened.

What? People want to see my actual menus?

Does that mean I have to admit how non-inventive, boring, and routine our menus are? And maybe explain why I have no desire to change that?

Okay. Well, here goes.

First, a disclaimer. The overarching theme of all my cooking posts is how I hate, hate, HATE to potchke in the kitchen. Well, I hate spending time standing and fussing over any aspect of home life, to be honest. But if there's anything I know about myself from spending this last year as a full-time home manager, it's that I hate cooking. Hate. It. So that will be reflected when I explain how I menu plan.

I like to menu plan for an entire month, using these white board calendars I picked up at Target. They enable me to look at the whole month's meals to make sure that we don't have TOO much repetition, and also to balance the food budget over the course of the month. More on that later.

When I have the blank menu board, the first thing I do is fill in every engagement I know we have for the month. "Dad's birthday party" is one this month, and so is "BBQ at Kathryn's house." This is so I don't plan a meal (and the groceries that go with it) for that night, because then I'd have extra ingredients and spend extra money.

Then, I write "Pizza" on every Thursday.

Then, I write "Spaghetti" on every Wednesday.

Yes. We have Pizza (homemade) and Spaghetti each and every week. I can't plan seven unique, frugal, and and delicious meals for each week. Just can't do it. No way, no how.

Tuesday night is always crock pot night (a holdover from when I worked late on Tuesday nights.) So, on each Tuesday, I write one of the following:

Chili

Split Pea Soup

Black Bean Soup

Lentil Soup

Thai Chickpeas

Yes. We have the same five crock pot meals over, and over, and OVER again.

Monday night is in the "other" category. On each Monday, I write one of the following:

Pierogies

Raviolis

Enchiladas

Grilled Cheese

Tuna Melts

Quesadillas

Stuffed Shells

Tuna Casserole

So now, Monday through Thursday are filled up. So far, so boring.

Here's where I really get embarrassed. I also have a standard rotation of Shabbat meals.

I know.

It all started when I figured out I could make schnitzel in gigantic batches and freeze it and stick it in the oven on Erev Shabbat and it would be almost as good as fresh. Same thing with meatballs. Now, we pretty much have schnitzel and Israeli salad every other week, and spaghetti and meatballs with green salad every other week.

Honestly, at this point in my life, stressing over original and delicious Shabbat dinners every week can reduce me to sweaty, exhausted tears. David would rather have the same dinner every two weeks, I'm sure, than drag me into a psych ward on a Friday night because it's Shabbat, I'm smelly, the kitchen is still a mess, and I've botched a recipe that's neither inexpensive nor tried-and-true.

Shabbat lunch is always either cholent, tuna and egg salad, cold cut sandwiches, or some chicken breasts covered in jarred sauce and set on low in the morning (we're not shomer.)

On Saturday night, David is in charge. Sometimes he comes up with something he potchkens over, because he doesn't mind doing that once in awhile. It makes him feel like a kitchen star and he always cleans up the kitchen afterwards, so I don't mind. Sometimes he runs out for Chipotle or Pad Thai and that's okay too.

Sundays are a disaster. I have some huge mental block with Sundays, and I always stress about what to serve. Usually we end up eating Shabbos leftovers or just plain pasta with sauce. That is my one menu planning sticking point. Any advice?

Anyway. Now you know how I plan my boring, repetitive, menus. It's not exciting, and we hardly ever try new things, but this keeps me out of the psych ward and our family within a $450 grocery budget every month.

Do you menu plan? Are your meals more exciting than mine? Any tips for an extra-frazzled Ima?

SuperIma Sunday Check-In: MOVING!!!

2011-05-15T19:29:00.000-07:00

Hello, friends. I am exhausted. But not just any exhausted. Moving exhausted. And not just any moving exhausted. Moving back HOME exhausted.

Moving is a ridiculous expenditure of physical energy. Your whole body aches after an entire day where all you did is spend two hours unpacking dishes (seriously? how?), spent seven thousand dollars at Target, hung three pictures, and reheated some pizza for your kids on paper plates. But this time, all of that feels SO GOOD. Because we're home, folks. Why, just this weekend we had no less than five friends help us out with the kids so we could make a big push to unpack. (Hi, Sarah, Allison, Elle, Susan, and Steph! We love you all!)

Columbus, Ohio isn't paradise, but for us it just feels right. All the moving exhaustion in the world can't ruin that.

Even though my bathtub looks like this:

(trading the opportunity to bathe for makeshift counter space)

I got to see this for the first time in almost two months, which really made my heart sing:

(a cluttered desk of my VERY OWN)

But the real payoff is this - MY KITCHEN IS BACK!!!!

(David is terrified of the knife strip, which is just the way I like it.)

Oh, man. I am yawning like every two seconds writing this horrible post adorned with even more horrible (cell phone!) pictures, so let's save both of us the pain and wrap this up, shall we?

We know two things: 1. My house is still mostly a disaster and 2. I'm still a person working on a writing project on a kind of deadline.

Here's my SuperIma Check-in. Each day at naptime I'm setting my timer for 45 minutes and working on moving-in stuff. Putting away clothes, unpacking stuff, organizing, etc. When the timer goes off, I'm sitting down to write. The house will be unpacked and organized in weeks instead of days, but for the sake of the sanity and self-worth department I'd say it's worth it.

What about you, my sweet Supers? What are you going to do for yourself this week, and what has to slide to let you do it?

While you're thinking about that, go visit my sweet friends Amanda, who is wondering if spring is really on its way, and Shannon, who has a really good question about date night that I'm still waffling over.

You're doing an incredible job. Keep up the awesome work!

SuperIma Sunday Check-in: Ima's Day

2011-05-08T13:19:00.000-07:00

*Sigh* Ima's Day is always so hard on me. I know that some people have a really wonderful relationship with their mothers, and other people don't. And it always makes me really wonder - what does it take to be a good mother?

I mean, on Mother's Day, I always think about how I've done so much for my kids - gestating and giving birth to them, for starters, and then feeding them and keeping them clean and ALIVE each and every day. And sometimes entertained. But then I think that all those things are really something I *have* to do, not something that it's awesome that I did.

How do I make sure that I have a really strong, lasting relationship with my kids? If I really get to thinking about it, words like, "trust," "respect," "involvement," and "dependability" knock around in my head, but that fails to answer the questions of "What if they do something I hate?" or "What if I don't like them?" or, maybe worst, "What if we just don't get along?" I'm pretty sure parenting means I'm supposed to do all those lofty things I just mentioned anyway, but oh my G-d, it is so, SO hard. I know. I've seen it happen.

*sigh*

Anyway, I'm sure it would all be a lot easier if I wasn't 1. Exhausted and 2. Resentful. I had two big dreams for this Mother's Day.

Dream #1 - No one would ask me about food for the entire weekend. For example: "Leigh Ann, do we have food for the kids?" (translation - Leigh Ann, please prepare and serve lunch to the children, after you've made sure they all wash their hands with soap and water and are sitting quietly at the table.) or: "Hon, what were our plans for dinner?" (translation - What are you planning to cook/have already cooked for me to heat up.)
Reality #1 - I worked all week to get food ready for the weekend, but still had to potchken over at least two meals a little bit. Also, I prepped and packed breakfast for this morning (for David's mother) and am gearing up to cook dinner for this evening (because David is swamped with a last minute project.)

Dream #2 - No one would ask me about clothing for the entire weekend. For example: "Leigh Ann, do we have clothes for the kids?" Translation: "Leigh Ann, please locate and assemble appropriate and clean outfits for all three of the children, and bring them here, so I can dress/play with one of them while you dress two."
Reality #2 - I've already done two loads of laundry and retrieved three separate clothing items.

Now, I'm not full-on complaining. David gave appropriate respect to Mother's Day this year, and treated my camera (to a new lens) and my right hand (to that daughter's ring I've been wanting to go with my two sons' rings.) And people have said "Happy Mother's Day," and I've gotten cards. And yesterday I got to leave the house for a whole morning to do some writing. (Yes, I did have to do damage control before and after.)

Also, one of the blogs I follow posted this:\

I was sitting on a bench
while in a nearby mall,
When I noticed a young mother
with two children who were small.

The youngest one was whining,
"Pick me up," I heard him beg
but the mother's face grew angry
as the child clung to her leg.

"Don't hang on to me," she shouted
as she pushed his hands away,
I wish I'd had the courage
to go up to her and say...

"The time will come too quickly
when those little arms that tug,
Won't ask for you to hold them
or won't freely give a hug."

And SERIOUSLY? I know it's supposed to make me appreciate my kids more, but it just made me feel SHAMED for not wanting to pick my kids up sometimes. Because I'm sure, like me, that that poor mom in the mall had been up since 5 AM and had already picked up her kid five million times that day. And she probably also hugged and kissed and loved on him too, but that one judgmental lady in the durn shopping mall wanted to butt in and tell her how to be a good mom.

This is all very disjointed, and I guess it's just an emotional day for me for a lot of reasons. If any of you has any thoughts on any of this stuff, I'd love to hear them. Unless you're telling me to stop complaining and go be a mother instead of writing this post. Then I'll delete you, because it's my blog and I can do what I want.

Oh, right! We still have to check in.

Well, we're moving this week (!!!!!!!!!!!!!HAPPY DANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) so it's going to be all about organizing and planning, making arrangements for people to sit with the kids so I can unpack (oh, luxury!) etc.

Also, I have to finish my book. But who cares about that? It's just a silly thing I'm doing. What's really important is that we have clothes for the kids.

I'm going to try to shower every day this week. I think that's the best I can do.

What about you, SuperImas? How has your week been? What are your goals for self care this coming week? What are you going to be more relaxed about to let it happen?

You're doing an incredible job, Supers. Keep on keepin' on, everyone.

(Also, please go visit Shannon and Blessed Little Bird, two of my most favorite ladies in the whole wide midwest, who checked in even before I did this week. Love you two!)

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!!

(The requisite 2011 Ima's Day shot. I had to swap heads to achieve a shot where Ashi wasn't glaring too much, and Rami wasn't screaming at the horror of sitting on my lap and being asked to smile. But then they gave me kisses and it was okay.)

SuperIma Sunday Check-In: The Epitome of Fed-Up

2011-05-01T17:52:00.000-07:00

Nesyah hasn't been sleeping. At all.

That's not true. She's sleeping from about 8:00 to 1:00. Then she wakes up and decides that she wants to hang out. So she stands up in her pack and play and yells - literally, yells - until someone gets up to get her. We're talking full on tantrum. And bringing her to bed with me doesn't work, because she doesn't want to sleep, she wants to play.

Now, we are a Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child family. It's always worked for us in the past and we think that Dr. Weissbluth is a genius. We really don't have an issue with letting kids cry a bit (unless they're sick or there's something else wrong, obviously.) But during this transition time, we're all sharing a room, which means that if Nesi wakes up, everyone wakes up, and I'm the only one with a hope of sleeping through it.

Last night, I was up with her, playing, from 12:45 to 4:15 AM. I tried to sleep on the living room floor while she played, but she pulled my hair and scratched my face. She finally looked drowsy at 4:15 and we were both able to fall asleep on the living room floor. I slept for another few hours, thanks to David watching the kids, but when I woke up? I'm not going to lie. I kind of felt really angry towards Nes. I kind of hated her a little. And I definitely didn't want to see her or deal with her.

That really freaked me out, so I called my sister, and she said that I needed one full night's sleep. And that she and my brother in law would be happy to have Nesyah stay the night. So, at 6:45, off the Princess went. It's not even 9:00, and I am SO SO excited to tuck in and sleep until 6:00 when I have to get up and go retrieve her.

I'm pretty sure I'll love her a lot more tomorrow. Just saying. I'll probably love my sister about 1000 times more than I thought possible, too.

Also! My Important Friend in The Publishing Industry wants to see a FULL MANUSCRIPT *jaw drops to ground*

Last week, if you remember, my SuperIma Sunday goal was to write like a madperson and get him two chapters. I did it, thanks to my incredible team of beta ladies, and he liked it. But I just barely got in under the wire. Like, we're talking late Friday afternoon. In order to accomplish that, I did lots of super easy dinners, laundry went unfolded, and I only vaccuumed once. Eek.

It's going to be another few weeks of that. Everything's gotta slide. But I'm so, so excited. More on that later.

What about you, sweet Supers? Did you meet your goals last week? What is on tap for this coming week? What's going to slide so that you feel a little more you-ish?

Also, please visit my sweet friend Shannon, who I've never met in real life, but who unfailingly posts a SuperIma Sunday check-in. She's got an incredible giveaway going on, which you should enter, and she's basically the most popular blog on the whole world wide web*

*or, rather, she should be, and she's getting pretty close.

SuperIma Sunday Check-in: Passover Knocked-Out Edition

2011-04-24T18:15:00.000-07:00

I'm grateful that this seems to be becoming the trend here on the Frugal Ima SuperIma Sunday Check in: I love you guys. LOVE YOU. I think that the vast majority of everyone who reads this blog volunteered to be a beta reader for my book, and the cockles of my heart were totally warmed. And even though I put out the call for readers just a week ago, I've already received three sets of feedback, and two of them were super-detailed and fabulous. That's fast, people, and that's love and support. So thank you, truly.

Our Seders were INCREDIBLE, and thankfully started before 7:00 each night and were short and sweet. (They would have started earlier, but one or more of our family members may have pushed back the time a little. So, our fault.) We traveled for both of them, meaning that our kids got to bed around midnight both nights, and then woke up at their usual 5:30 (Why?????)

On Tuesday, after the two seders, everyone in our family fell asleep on the living room floor at some point. We stayed in there vegging and watching TV all day, and I didn't get ANYTHING done on my writing. It felt so strange to me to get absolutely nothing accomplished, as in N-O-T-H-I-N-G. Not even a load of laundry. Clearly, it was necessary.

Then, on Wednesday, all the kids came down with a cough and general ickiness. Asthma Boy (AKA Rami) is still wheezy and even losing his voice a little. No one has slept well all week. Last night, I was awake with one or the other at 1:00, 3:00, then up for the day at 5:00. I am beyond exhausted. Even as I type this, (9:13 PM) two out of three are up.

This is my mantra: The children are a blessing. I will miss this when they are grown. I believe it. I really do. Just one night of sleep would help me believe it a little more.

This week has got to be a buckle-down-and-write week.

I still have 7,000 words to go till I hit my goal, but that's really an arbitrary number. I'd say I have at least 3,000 to 4,000 left to tie up my story, write up scenes I've dreamed up by really have a sketch of, etc.

That's about 800 words a day, plus a lot more editing. Everything has got to slide in order for me to do this. Everything.

What about you, sweet Supers? What are you going to do to make a little room for you in the craziness of this week? What's going to move to the side to let you do it?

You are doing an incredible job. Hugs.

SuperIma Sunday Check-in: Maybe Possibly Big News (?) Edition

2011-04-17T16:12:00.000-07:00

I guess if it's only "Maybe, Possibly" good news, then it's not really news, huh?

Anyhoo. You know how I was doing all that writing for pleasure for my Project 365? The very writing I promised to spend 15 minutes a day finishing up during my SuperIma Sunday check-in last week? Well, not 12 hours after I declared that promise, a friend of a friend of a colleague who is poised to be in an Important Position in the Publishing Business emailed me asking for a summary of it (called a "query letter" in the Publishing Business, if you're keeping track,) and then shortly after reading it, the first two chapters!!!!

EEEEEK!

This Important Person who read the query letter told me that it was "all kinds of win," which is a phrase I'm pretty sure has never been used in reference to me or anything I've done before. That is really awesome, I guess, even when you consider that I never even really planned to ask any Important Publishers to consider printing my drivel, and thought maybe possibly it would one day be quietly posted to Amazon in Kindle format for $2.99 for some bored teenagers to accidentally one-click purchase.

The only catch is that I should probably finish the durn book and clean up those first two chapters REALLY well before I send them in, right? So, who wants to beta read for me? Anyone up for a little amateur YA scifi romance something-or-other?

*crickets*

Also, there is the typical ho-hum pre-Passover mania going on. I made, like, four dozen matza balls today, and that was just the tip of the iceberg.

This week, I'm going to finish my writing for pleasure. Hopefully. Probably. If you'll beta read for me. And my kids will probably watch a lot of TV. (um....it's a holiday, right? So that's okay?)

What about you, my awesome SuperBeta readers? What are you going to do to make your life a little less crazy this week? Let your spouse clean up after seder? Eat matzah PB&J all week? Something non-Passover related?

And what's gonna slide?

I adore all of you. You're doing a great job.

P.S. Everyone PLEASE go read my fellow SuperIma Shannon's blog because not only is it riveting and hilarious, but she's kind of bummed that she's slipped inexplicably in the Technorati rankings, and there's only so far my 20 clicks over to her page can go.

Countdown to Passover: Making Matzah

2011-04-12T08:33:00.000-07:00

Yes, I know. I'm crazy.

But here's the thing: My kids have been getting really excited about the Passover story. Asher has been asking a lot of questions in response to the dramatic retelling on Shira's Passover CD, and I've been happy to answer. He seemed especially intrigued by the idea of the Jewish people's having to pack up and leave their homes so quickly, probably because of our recent move and sojourn. Our family is in a very in-between place, just like the Jewish people leaving Mitzrayim, and so our conversations revolve around how the two situations are similar. His curiosity and insight are remarkable, at least I think so.

Anyway, after writing this post about the value of Doing Without, I realized I was really moved by the part of the Passover story that chronicles the panic of preparing for a long journey in haste. I pictured parents with babies strapped to their backs and children tugging at their ankles, deciding if the clothes on their backs would be enough as they slung unproofed dough into hot ovens. Doing the best they could do.

Then, when I was writing my review of Shira's Passover CD, I ran across this blog post where she encourages us to make our own matzah, and to do it the Kosher-for-Passover* way - from the minute the water touches the flour, it has to be done in eighteen minutes or less, lest the flour has a chance to rise. "Okay, Shira, I love you, but you are TOTALLY NUTS," I thought. Then I kept reading. The picture she painted of a family pitching in and bonding over the rushed steps was really enticing. Plus, she says the matzah tastes AWESOME compared to the boxed stuff. And, of course, it's way more frugal than the $3-a-box stuff at the store. I was sold.

This morning, after Nesyah went down for her nap, we set our timer for eighteen minutes and got to work.

We sanded down our rolling pin to remove the chametz.

We mixed three parts of flour with one part water,

and mixed it by hand to form a ball.

We rolled it out as flat as it could get, and then rolled it out even flatter.

We poked it full of holes so that it wouldn't puff in the oven.

We slung it into a 525 degree oven on a couple of upturned Pyrex dishes that had been heated right along with the oven. (Shira's dad recommends lining the oven with red bricks. Awesome and authentic. And frugal!)

We took it out after five minutes and let it cool.

We ate the matzah. A lot of it.

Because of the way it fell on the Pyrex, some of the edges had a perfect jelly pocket (boxed matzah doesn't have that!)

As we worked, we kept saying, "hurry up!" and telling the story of the Exodus from Egypt like we were really there. Asher thought it was awesome and is still talking about how we had to hurry to bake it before Pharoah changed his mind.

*Since we decided last-minute but before we have actually done any Passover cleaning to try our hands at matzah, we did not do the preparatory steps you have to do to make it truly KLP, like kashering bowls and utensils, scrubbing down the oven, etc. If you are making matzah for use on Passover, you should use kashered surfaces and utensils and make sure to thoroughly sand down your rolling pin and change your parchment paper after each eighteen minute batch to remove post-18-minute mixture, and frogs, from your surface (after all, we ARE still in Mitzrayim!)

Also, it's custom to refrain from eating the matzah before the actual Seder, which we transgressed. Obviously.

Even though it's not practical this year because of our sojourn at the non-KLP Chez MyParents, I definitely plan to bake all our own matzah next year.

Does your family have a matzah-baking tradition? Would you like to try to start one?

Frugal Jewish Education: Using Jewish Music to learn about Passover (ShirLaLa Pesach)

2011-04-11T19:00:00.000-07:00

Oh, my. Can you believe that the first Seder is just a week from today? Passover will be here and gone before we know it, if you can believe it. One thing that is really important to us is making sure that we make the most out of every holiday at home, so our kids both know what is going on at the actual celebration and are excited about it in the weeks leading up to it.

One of the best things about the Seder is all the songs and prayers that are unique to the Seder. Who doesn't love a rousing rendition of "Dayeinu" or " Adir Hu?" The excitement and warmth of sharing the same songs together year after year is what makes everyone feel like they belong. However, the abundance of songs can also be scary, especially for kids whose list of Jewish song repertoire consists of "Bim Bam" and "HaMotzi."

This means that one of the best ways to involve your kids in holiday celebrations is to teach them the music that goes along with them. But maybe you didn't pay perfect attention during every minute of every riveting Sunday school lesson when you were eight years old, maybe you are a little older than eighteen, or maybe you haven't gone to a full seder each year. What if you don't know all (or any, oy!) of the tunes or words well enough in order to pass them along to your children?

Well, Shira Kline has you covered.

Shira is a woman who is as passionate about Jewish music and Jewish family education as I've seen anyone. If you play her Passover CD in your house and car for the week leading up to Seder, I promise you that you and your family will be familiar with and excited about the tunes. Here it is:

Just one more thing. Now, if you're like me, you've anxiously downloaded a bunch of CDs about which others have gushed, "No, really, you don't even realize it's kid's music! Seriously!" And then you copy that sucker onto your iPod and excitedly plug it into the computer and WHO WERE THEY KIDDING?!!?! Because anything that drones on about colors, the alphabet, brushing your teeth, or clapping your hands is kid music.

So, you know I'm telling you the truth when I tell you that you don't even realize that ShirLaLa is kid's music. Well, half of it is - the honest-to-goodness kind, that instructs our sweeties to "shake your tushies" and make froggy noises. The other half, however, is just great Jewish music. She and her awesome band have recorded the old-school, straight-up Seder songs to a mildly rockin' beat so that singing the same old songs is actually really fun. She even recorded the Festival Kiddush and Candle Blessings without background music, as you would hear them in someone's home. She really, really wants to give families the tools to step into Jewish traditional celebrations knowing their tunes. Especially for only $8.99 for 20 tracks... It's an incredible thing.
In case you're still wavering, here's my track-by-track review (since we've been listening to this nonstop for a couple weeks now and I could do it with my eyes closed anyway) :

1.Pesach Bamba - Sung to the tune of "LaBamba", Shira has one of these on every holiday CD. It incorporates sweet verses about Pesach between choruses.

2.Hal’l'l’l'luyah - Another song Shira has on every holiday CD, with "Halleluyah" as the chorus and holiday-specific tidbits in between.

3.Let My People Go - A song about Moses and Pharoah. The chorus encourages the children to sing "No, no, no!" What kid doesn't like that?

4.Building Cities - Er...we usually skip over this one. Not so grabbing, maybe?

5.Listen King Pharaoh - another song about Pharoah that encourages kids to shout along. Love.

6.Frogs - A contemporary classic. The one that starts with, "One morning when Pharoah woke in his bed..." Includes real frog sounds, a highlight for my little ones.

7.Hallelu - Shira tells the story of the actual Exodus and crossing of the Sea of Reeds with a backdrop of "Hallelu" - the same tune my fellow hippy-dippy Reconstructionists like to use for Psalm 150. She ends with "Kol Haneshema Tehallel Yah." Your kids listen to this, and they'll know it for shul too.

8.Miriam’s Song - Debbie Friedmans, z''l. Lyrics have been slightly modified to go "...and the children dancing with their timbrels..."

9.Elijah Rock - The classic gospel tune. Love it.

10.Kadeish Urchatz - The "order of the Seder" tune as you grew up with it.

11.Mah Nishtana - The Four Questions sung to the traditional tune.

12.Lotsa, Lotsa Matza - A song about all the foods we eat on Passover. (Matzah, chicken, matza balls, gefilte fish...) We've made up movements to go with each food. SO fun.

13.Dayeinu - Traditional tune. My kids are OBSESSED with "Dayeinu," especially Rami.

14.Passover Game - Each verse gives "clues" to guess which Passover thing she's talking about. Asher loves this one.

15.Who Knows One? - A rendition of "Who Knows One?" with different voices for each answer. NOT traditional.

16.Bashana Haba’ah - a fun, upbeat tune.
17.Candle blessing for festivals - Debbie Friedman's z''l tune sung a'capella.

18.Kiddush for festivals - Traditional tune sung a'capella. Really great if you don't yet know how to make Kiddush for Chag - the same tune goes for all of them!

19.B’tzeit Yisrael - A short version of Hallel, sung in many homes.

20.Adir Hu - Old school, straight up "Adir Hu." Still awesome.

So, what are you waiting for? Go do the download and blast this sucker as much as you can for the next week. Any CD that can teach my kid to do this in (seriously, no joke) less than an hour total of singing along has my ringing endorsement:

(Full disclosure: Shira hasn't compensated or asked me to do this in any way, shape or form. She doesn't even know I exist, actually, which now that I think about it makes me kinda sad. Shira, are you reading this? If you are, let's have a lady date.)

What Passover music do you love to share with your family? Do you have any more recommendations for us?

SuperIma Sunday Check-in: Squeezing In

2011-04-10T14:29:00.000-07:00

Hey, my sweet Supers! I hope you had an incredible week. Ours was another whirlwind, so what's new?

We have been at Chez MyParents for almost four weeks now and we're still making adjustments. We were occupying two bedrooms next to the master bedroom. As I mentioned a couple of weeks ago, Asher and Nesyah haven't been sleeping through the night and my mom was having a really tough time with the sleep deprivation, so we packed everyone up and moved into my high school bedroom downstairs. It's large for one person, but put in two queen-sized beds, a pack and play, and the big red chair my dad had in there, and there's really about five square feet in which to do actual walking around. It's...challenging.

The good part is that there's a big screen TV and my kids love to veg in bed whatching DVRed Hulk or Iron Man episodes (thanks, Dad!) while I'm doing morning and evening activities. The bad news is that they only really will sleep in there unless I'm in there too. Which means that I am now with my kids LITERALLY 24 hours a day.

Also, we just found out our house in Columbus doesn't open up until May 15th.

(I'll just let that sink in. Itiswhatitisitiswhatitisitiswhatitis.)

I'm trying to take a lot of deep breaths and remember that this move has been hard enough on my kids, and I'm not going to move them to another temporary arrangement before the permanent one. Because I am a good mother. Really. I am.

This week was Insane because on Friday, MY SISTER GOT MARRIED AHHHHHHHH!

Here is her handsome groom who I love and adore and have a snobby book club with:

And here is my sweet baby sister!!!!

She was pretty much the least bridezilla-ish bride ever, and threw a beautiful wedding on a pretty tiny budget. So I am super-proud of her. I may ask her to guest-post about it. I pitched in by designing all her paper goods, from save the dates to menus on the table and everything in between . And producing the cute ring bearers and flower girl, of course.

This week we are trying to detox and reset. The weekend was just nuts because it was Thursday rehearsal dinner, Friday wedding, Saturday huge family dinner. My kids didn't make it to bed before 10:00 any night, and they are totally cooked. There's also a lot of cooking for Passover on the agenda, and remember, we are all sharing one room (!) so "sanity time" is going to be pretty hard to come by. My goal is to write for a solid 15 minutes every day (I know, such a small goal,) even if it means flipping open my lap top in a pitch black bedroom after they've all fallen asleep.

What about you, SuperEveryone? What are you going to do to help yourselves feel more sane this week? And what's gotta slide in order to let you do it? Have you been succeeding with schedules? Building some more structure into your lives? Consciously taking more time for yourselves? Let me know!

You are doing an AWESOME job. (((HUGS))) from me.

Countdown to Passover: Plague Playthings

2011-04-06T18:13:00.000-07:00

The Passover Seder, the ritual Passover meal, was designed with children in mind. All kinds of tricks and gimmicks are employed to keep the children involved: the asking of the Four Questions by the youngest child, staying up late to hunt the for the afikomen, sweet special-for-Passover foods, kid-friendly songs.

If you're a little kid, all these things are very cool. But there is one more thing about Passover that is cooler still. The central element to the Seder is called "Maggid," which means "telling." We tell the story of the Exodus from Egypt, where, in order to push Pharoah to let the Jewish people go, G-d sent a series of plagues to afflict Egypt. Those plagues included: Lice, Locusts, Frogs, and Vermin. So of course, for Passover, we've got to have frog, bug, and snake toys to play with!

I think it is this very reason that Passover brings out the kid in me. Have you ever gone to orientaltrading.com and searched for "frogs?"

If your kids are obsessed with superheroes like mine (yes, I'm talking to you, Mara), they'll love that a lot of them have the same colors as their favorites. Here's Iron Man:

This year, the dollar section at Target had the most awesome giant bug toys, and I found some insect finger puppets at Oriental Trading.

These snakes were a dollar at Wal-Mart.

My favorite find of the year? Hefty zooPals products. They make frog plates and utensils in the shapes of frogs and snakes (you do have to pick through the packs to find ones you want.) The plates are disposable, but you can use the utensils all Passover long, or probably year-to-year if you want.

I have been known to decorate the Passover table with frogs and bugs.

(If you are reading this and you are one of the kind souls hosting us for Seder this year, I apologize in advance. My kids will probably insist on bringing at least some of our creepy-crawlies with them, unless you are seriously opposed...)

I collect a few things each year. This year's haul was disproportionately large because all the toys I've collected are sitting in storage somewhere in Columbus. But I'm happy to add to the stash! In a normal year I'd spend about $10-$15 on Passover plague toys and accessories - I spent about $30 this year. It is so, SO worth it to see my kids excited about Passover!

Stay tuned for a post on Passover books and haggadot for kids, and one on Passover music as well!

What are you doing to get your kids (and yourselves) excited for Passover?

SuperIma Sunday Check-in: Sleep Deprived with No Newborn?!?!?

2011-04-03T17:58:00.000-07:00

I am exhausted.

All three children are sharing a bedroom here at Chez MyParents. When I put them to bed, I get an hour to an hour to an hour and a half of quiet. Most nights. (Some nights, they won't go down at all, but that's another post.) But for description's sake, let's call this a good night. I get an hour and a half of quiet. Then Nesyah cries, loudly and angrily. I would even say "lustily," except that sounds like something good, and this is NOT. GOOD.

If I rush in and pick her up, she giggles, coos, and smiles, if I just stand around holding her, which you might think is good. Hey, I can just watch "Outsourced" with my happy baby, right?

Wrong. The attention-demanding, hey-Ima-please-hang-out-with-me screeches from her Highness never fail to wake Asher up, terrified. So now I have two screaming kids, both who want me, but one wants me STANDING and the other will never return to his bed if I don't lie down with him and coax him back to sleep. (He calms after a minute or so, but then wants to stay up to hang out as well.) If one needs a diaper change, or a drink of water, or has messed the sheets, forget about it. I'm out of hands. Then there's scrambling, screaming, and sweating, and Oh Lordy, I'm starting to get stressed just thinking about it.

Monday night, this awful she-screams he-screams cycle happened no less than three times. I tried removing Nesyah to my room, but her screams woke Asher up IN THE NEXT ROOM. It was so bad that at 3:30 AM I told Asher I would give him whatever he wanted, do anything, if he would just stop yelling. Mercifully, he realized he had broken me, let out a mournful sigh, and fell backwards onto his pillow. I got about two hours' sleep before Rami woke up for the day. The rest of the week wasn't much better, each night unfolding with a new and progressively horrible sequence of events.

But it's okay, because David will be here Friday night. Friday night, I'll get some sleep. Six glorious hours, at least, of unbroken sleep, in the dark, probably with headphones. Oh, it will be incredible. Right?

Wrong. David rolled in this Friday afternoon with a killer sore throat, a chesty cough, a four-digit fever, and about 20 hours of work to get done before Monday.

Last night I was up from 10:00-11:00. Fine. Then at 2:45, the wails started again. Kvetch, grunt, back to sleep. The wailing started to become more dominant than anything else around 4:00. You don't need to know any more sordid details - truthfully, I don't fully remember how it all went down. I just know that at 4:15 AM, I had thrown a DVD in the player, a plate of babka in the middle of the room, and a pillow on the floor, and was letting my oldest and youngest literally walk all over me, awake for the day.

I powered through today with well over eight cups of coffee and the sheer force of will.

My goal this week is to sleep. Whenever, wherever I can. My sister's wedding is this Friday (I know! Married on a Friday! Isn't she clever and cute?) and I have to be in as good a form as possible. I'm going to pretend like I have a newborn and sleep when the babies sleep. What am I going to let slide? Everything else.

What about you, my beloved Supers? Goals? Slacking? Did you make yourselves schedules and plans like you wanted? (Go check out Shannon's check-in too...)

P.S. As you may have guessed, Rami is now indisputably and completely understandably my favorite child. Don't pretend that you would say any different, either.

Frugal Lesson of Passover - The Value of Doing Without

2011-03-31T18:25:00.000-07:00

It is incredible to me that Passover is less than 3 weeks away (the first seder is Monday, April 18th, for those of you who just felt a little panicked and maybe didn't know they exact date? Hmm?) Of course, like the obsessive Jewish home manager that I am, I follow a million and one blogs that are all telling me how PASSOVER IS COMING!!! Do I have my shopping list? Have I started cleaning yet? What is my menu for all four yamim tovim? What about the Shabbat that falls in between them? Have I started to stockpile? Have I started cooking yet, because I could, you know (oh, Lordy)? Unlike the obsessive Jewish home manager that I am, my answer to all of these questions, given the insane transition going on in our lives, is - NO!!!

For those of you who aren't familiar with the rules of eating Kosher for Passover - The Torah commands Jews to refrain from eating, owning, or benefiting from chametz (anything leavened) for the week-long festival of Passover. "Chametz" was determined by our rabbis and sages over the years to include not only things that are leavened, but things that may become leavened, and, for some Jews, things that look like things that may become leavened. So, anything containing or anything having come in contact with: wheat, spelt, rye, oats, barley, rice, beans, corn. Finding food products without those ingredients is pretty much impossible. Even ketchup and Coke have corn syrup in them. A lot of Jews even have separate dishes, pots and pans, and utensils.

Think about the cost of food bought special-for-Passover, not to mention duplicating everything in your kitchen (times two, one set for meat and one for dairy), and your head is probably spinning. Even those of us who have been doing it for years and years find the whole undertaking stressful to say the least. And while I don't want to speak for my fellow Jewish home managers, the COST of all this is by far the most stressful element.

Just as the requisite complete and total panic was tugging at the edges of my brain, threatening to make me completely insane, driving me to fill my parents' basement with 30 pounds of matzah, two new sets of pots and pans, and a dozen jars of gefilte fish at whatever price I could find them, because OMIGOD PASSOVER IS COMING AND MY FAMILY MIGHT STARVE, my dear friend Mara over at Kosher on a Budget hosted the incredible Susie Sharf of Cheapskate for a series of guest posts on "How to Shop for Passover on a Budget" . Susie had a lot of awesome tips on that post about responsible shopping for Passover, arguably the only tips one could ever need.

The one that really stuck with me and that has been knocking around my brain and turning over and over in my heart, however, is #2. This rule of thumb for Pesach prep is so priceless, and it's only eight words long. Are you ready?

It's only eight days. You can do without.

Three Mondays from now, Jews all over the world will sit around a beautifully dressed table surrounded by friends and family. There will be one platter more beautiful than all the others in the middle of the table, and the food it bears will be covered by an ornately decorated cloth. Sentence by sentence, the people seated around the table will read the story of the Exodus from Egypt as it has been handed down generation to generation. About a third of the way through, the plate will be uncovered to reveal a plate of large square crackers, and the reader will announce:

This is the bread of affliction that our ancestors ate in Mitzrayim.
Let all who are hungry come and eat. Let all who are needy come and celebrate...
At present we are slaves. Next year may we be free.

This is matzah. It is central to our celebration for a very simple reason - we are commanded to make it so. Exodus 12:18-19 tell us in no uncertain terms to remove all leaven from our homes and possession during this holiday, but it isn't until verse 37 that we are given some insight, the feeling behind the instruction, the heart-wrenching reason that it is so important that we eat matzah, announce it with sacred words, year after year:

³⁹ And they baked unleavened cakes of the dough which they had brought out of Egypt; for it was not leavened, because they were driven out of Egypt and could not wait, nor had they prepared provisions for themselves.

Our ancestors had to leave the land that, however awful, had been their home suddenly. They had less time than it takes to let bread rise, as tradition tells us, less than eighteen minutes. Can you imagine having to pack up your home, your children, and anything that is important to you in the space of eighteen minutes? Can you wrap your head around what it would mean to prepare enough clothing and food to sustain them for an unknown number of years wandering through the unforgiving desert?

Thinking about this, I feel pretty silly stressing over kosher-for-Passover cake mixes and new food processors. To say that our ancestors in the Exodus from Mitzrayim "did without" would be the understatement of the century. Not only did they not have tasty treats and expensive kitchen gadgets, they didn't even have substantial bread to fill their children's growling stomachs.

We hold matzah aloft, sing about it, and experience its crunchy bland dryness between our teeth because tasting its sparseness, its simplicity, is to experience in some minuscule way what our ancestors did. This is the very definition of "doing without." If, during Passover, I go for eight days without my favorite condiment or soft drink, I'm fulfilling part of the intention of this whole rule against chametz - To experience. To identify. To remember. To pass along the story to the next generation by way of a dry cracker, with nothing to dress it up or make it more palatable.

This year, Susie has done much more than give me something to consider when doing my Passover shopping - she has inspired me. While, of course, we should honor Passover with our finest foods for the Seder (I'm making my famous brisket, and that's just the beginning,) this year our family will be celebrating Passover by "Doing Without." We're not buying special cereal or cake mixes, duplicates of kitchen gadgets or Coke with a yellow cap.

If a food we want to, or would normally eat has chametz in it, do you know what we're going to do? We're not going to eat it. We're going to have a lot of fruit and veggies, matzah, cheese, and a bit more meat than normal. (Full disclosure - our family does eat kitniyot.) After all, our ancestors schlepping their stuff and their whiny kids out of Egypt had to go through a lot worse.

It is my prayer that by "Doing Without" this Passover, I'll experience the holiday on a bit more spiritual plane than I have in the past, elbow-deep in macaroon tins and $6 pancake syrup. Every time there's something I want that I "can't" have, I'll look at what's on my plate, and what's not, and remember "This is the bread of affliction that our ancestors ate in Mitzrayim." And I'll take a deep breath, and be thankful to them for what they endured and the faith that they had so that I and my family can make the purposeful, proud choice, to remember them in this small way one week every year. And not to waste our money on food we don't really need.

How is your attitude toward food - and what you do or don't buy - making you a more mindful person, whether you celebrate Passover or not? I'd love to hear your thoughts and experiences!

SuperIma Sunday Check-In; S-L-A-C-K-E-R

2011-03-27T14:34:00.000-07:00

Hello, friends! First I want to say that I LOVE YOU. Yes, you. Don't be freaked out. I just truly, truly appreciate all your fabulous comments of love and support on last week's check-in. They mean so, so much to me. But I literally didn't have a single second this week to reply to your comments. Here's why.

Well, this week was an epic fail. EPIC. I'm not even going to try to sugarcoat it, or anything. I didn't make a single comment on a single blog like I said I would. Friday, when David finally got here, I was depleted and exhausted. That was an understatement.

My kids are having a super-hard time with the move. Well, really, Rami's doing fine. And Nesyah is teething. So that really just leaves Asher who is having a really hard time. He cries. A lot. He is stuttering again. A lot. He is regressing with potty training. A lot. He wants to sleep with me. A lot. You know how my "me-time" usually happens after the kids have gone down to bed? Well, for the past week, within an hour of the kids going to bed, one of them is up again. It's either Asher or Nesyah, and every single night, the solution was taking one to bed with me. So that meant I was literally with one or more of my children 24 hours a day for five days in a row.

Yeah. So there's that.

So, I have a bummer-of-an-update on one of my Conversations about Things I could be Doing as a Professional. They said "Thanks, but no thanks." It is a bummer, but here's the thing. They interviewed a dozen people, and only brought two back for a final interview. They were really impressed with me, they said, and are interested in bringing me in for some part time gigs, pretty much whatever suits my fancy. And they gave me some really great feedback. And, me not getting this job? Totally makes sense, because I'm not nearly as qualified as the candidate they chose in either education or experience. My other Conversation is still ongoing, incredibly. I may not have anything solid to announce about that possibility till after Passover (argh!) But! I am planning a more heartfelt and revelatory post on the Professional front next week, so stay tuned (Did you know I'm a RABBI? Yeah.)

Then, on Saturday the universe (or four people in it) conspired to make me relax, and that was awesome.

Today I finally caved to something David's been wanting me to do for weeks. He keeps telling me to escape to Starbucks for an hour or three, to do some writing, reading, or just plain sitting, all alone. "But I am an introvert," I protest, "and I like to be at home with my couch and my blankets and my supply of snacks." (All totally true.) So I stay home, try to read or write, and eventually become involved in some toddler sharing or diaper change drama, and the whole purpose is defeated. But today, for unimportant reasons, I HAD to leave the house. So I took my trusty little netbook and my wallet and went to Starbucks. I ordered some coffee and some coffeecake and....

it was incredible. I drank the majority of my coffee while it was hot or warm. I listened to entire songs at a time. I wrote over a thousand words in a state unbroken by anything unrelated to my story. It was so awesome and so restorative.

So this weekend, when David gets in, I'm going to do that again. Maybe both weekend days. I'm feeling a little giddy.

Of course, when I got home, children were half naked, I was behind on the laundry, no one had eaten lunch, and our part of my parents' house was a complete disaster. But that's okay. It's a sacrifice I'm willing to make.

So, how about you, my dear Supers? What is your goal to make your life a little more sane, and to help you bring some satisfaction and fulfillment? And what are you going to be okay with letting slide a bit to allow it to happen?

Love you all. You're doing a great job.

SuperIma Sunday Check-in: Purim, Insane!

2011-03-20T18:27:00.000-07:00

Hi, Everyone.

This is going to be another one of those ultra-boring SuperIma Sunday check-ins where I tell you how exhausted I am. Ho-hum.

This week was ridiculously busy. Last Friday, we drove from Kansas to Ohio with all the stuff we'd need for seven weeks in the trunk of our SUV. This Wednesday, I had to be in Columbus, then Thursday, I had to be there again. Friday, David drove the hour from Columbus to Dayton for Shabbat. Saturday, David and I drove to Columbus and back again to hear megillah. Sunday, we drove everyone to Columbus and back again for the Purim carnival. Finally, Sunday night, David drove back to Columbus for the week. Columbus is only about an hour and fifteen minutes from Dayton, so you'd think it's not a big deal, but eventually? It makes you feel kind of crazy.

And somehow, in those eight days, David and I got pulled over four times and got two traffic tickets between us. I'm not going to tell you the sordid and embarrassing tales of each of these things. I think it's better to let your imaginations run wild. I don't know about you, but I always feel horrible and guilty and scolded when I get pulled over by a cop - not a fun feeling for an almost-thirty-year-old to have. Thank God I have a husband who coddles me on these things, and just took my ticket, told me he'd pay it, and promised not to tell me how much it cost. Love you, sweetie.

And my Conversations with People about Things I could be Doing as a Professional? One went very well and one was...interesting. I don't have a solid answer on either, but I do have a followup to one this week on Wednesday, so I'm still in need of EVERYONE to root for me. I would tell you more, really, I would, but I don't know how many of those People read this blog or hear about it, and besides, it's unProfessional! But if I do end up Doing something as a Professional I'll tell you the whole story. I promise.

This week my check-in is about something a little different I want to do for myself. I follow a lot of blogs (I'm a Google Reader addict), and I'm always coming across posts that make me nod my head and say, "Yes! Omigod, ME TOO!" and then I scroll down to the next post and keep reading. I don't comment, usually, no matter how moved I am by the post, sometimes even to tears. It's a bad habit, and I expect to have to answer for it someday.

Anyway, this week a blog I follow religiously made a post that really spoke to me. Like, really. And not only did I comment on the post, but I sent the author an email, and she wrote back to me. And she said incredible things. Understanding things, supportive things, things that made me feel hopeful. I haven't replied to her email because every time I do I start to cry, and I really don't have the time for a good cry now (maybe tomorrow.) So, if you're reading this...thank you.

Even if it didn't solve my non-problems, it did make me feel like I wasn't alone. That's the magic of blogs, everyone. I know I love it when you comment here, it makes me feel really good. I'm loving the connection. It's so edifying. So I'm going to make it my SuperIma me-time goal this week to comment on three blogs a day that really speak to me, to let them know that I appreciate them, and they are making a difference.

Oh, and as far as letting something slide? Shoot, I'm staying with my parents - I really just have two rooms and a kitchen to clean, and laundry. And cooking. And a playroom to clean up. Um, I guess I do have to resolve to let something slide after all. So, my mom is crazy about laundry. It's in a good way, for her, but the way she washes everything as soon as it's dirtied, and does laundry on a pretty much constant basis, makes me, who does it twice a week, feel a little frantic. I can't stand putting away laundry every day. So I'm going to hide my laundry from my mom so that I'm in control of when I have to switch, fold, and stash, darn it!

(Excuse my rambling post. This transition has been pretty hard on Asher, and I'm typing the end of this post on the phone, in the dark, because he's in bed next to me watching How to Train Your Dragon.)

What about you? How are you going to take care of yourselves this week, and what are you going to push a bit to the side in order to make space to do it?
Have a great week, everyone! You're doing an incredible job.

Well, this week

Hamantaschen!

2011-03-14T11:41:00.000-07:00

Can you believe that with all the craziness going on in my life, the Jewish calendar had the nerve to march on as usual? Oh wait, what's that? We had a leap year this year and the Jewish calendar actually graciously gave us an entire extra month to get ready for Purim? And I just now started getting ready?

Oops.

Anyway, Purim is here, whether I'm ready or not. As Jewish holidays go, Purim is probably the best one to celebrate amidst chaos. Not only is "crazy fun chaos" kind of the general theme of the holiday - people dress up, run around like they're wild, eat too much, and drink themselves silly - but there are only FOUR mitzvot that Jews are commanded to fulfill, and they're all fun to boot:

1. Hear the Book of Esther read aloud.
2. Give gifts to one another ("mishloach manot" or "shlach manes")
3. Give gifts to the poor (matanot l'evyonim - my friend Mara is sponsoring an incredible blog challenge on this theme, go visit her!)
4. Have a big, huge, celebratory meal. (seudah)

It's pretty easy to run over to a synagogue to hear a reading of the book of Esther, to write a check to charity, and to have a nice dinner on Sunday. I had the foresight to pack the kids' Superman pajamas in our suitcases, so they're covered for costumes. That means that the most complicated part of this whole thing is getting the shlach manes bags ready.

Of course, I could run to the store and buy snacks and tchotchkes to stuff in some bags, but really, the tradition is to include hamantaschen. Hamantaschen are three-cornered cookies filled with fruit, chocolate, or poppyseeds. The three corners are supposed to represent either the hat that Haman, the villain of the story, wore, OR, if we go by the Israeli word for the cookies, oznei Haman, his ears. If you imagine a guy with ears that look like these cookies, it's pretty ridiculous, so I'd say the cookies do a pretty good job of achieving one of the main goals of Purim - totally humiliate and debase Haman. Awesome.

Warning - these cookies are addictive. I mean, seriously, once you eat one of these things, you can't stop.

I hadn't baked hamantaschen since my college days, but I really wanted to do it this year for a few reasons, despite the moving craziness. One is that this is the first year Asher's really into Purim and the preparation for it, and I want to take advantage of every second that he's excited about Jewish stuff. Another is that even if you can find hamantaschen to buy in a store (which you can't in our little town here in Ohio) they are CRAZY expensive. I'm talking $1 or so apiece. Ouch. The last reason is stress relief. Duh.

I found a recipe for hamantaschen on allrecipes.com that said it was someone's Polish Bubbe's. I'm Polish, so I figured it might work like magic for me (maybe? Please?) With just a couple judicious alterations, it did. Baruch Hashem, because these suckers are enough of a schvitz to make even when they go perfectly.

Before I tell you the recipe, I want to give a shoutout to my friend Rabbi Sommer over at Ima on the Bima. Her hamantaschen tips were right on the money.

Here's what you'll need for about 3 dozen large-ish cookies:
3 eggs
1 c sugar
1/2 c margarine
4 c flour
2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
1 tbsp lemon juice
3 tbsp orange juice

filling

Cream together eggs, sugar, and margarine until very light and smooth

Mix in the remainder of ingredients. It will look kind of crumbly at first, but keep working it with your hands until it comes together:

Roll it out to about 1/8 inch and cut into circles with the rim of a drinking glass:

Now, do all your assembly and baking on parchment paper. Trust me. Just do it. Brush the circles with egg whites and place filling in the center. This will go best for you if you buy the cans of pastry filling in the baking aisle instead of trying to make do with jam, etc. It is expensive, but a little goes a long way (I think one small can made around 2 dozen cookies):

Pinch the sides of the dough together to form a three-cornered shape:

Into the oven at 350 for about 15 minutes.

You want them to be golden at the seams:

I plated mine six to a paper plate. You can wrap the whole darn thing in saran wrap and stick in the freezer, then pull it right out for easy gifting.

Not all of them made it to the freezer.

A Freilich Purim to everyone from our home (in OHIO!) to yours!

SuperIma Sunday Check-in: Back Home Edition

2011-03-13T18:02:00.000-07:00

Okay, before we do any checking in, there are two things of note that I need to mention. Any of my problems or stresses pretty much pale in comparison to these things a thousand times over.

First there is the Terror Attack in Itamar (I was getting a little stressed that I would have to write a long post fumbling through my mixed and emotional feelings and reactions connected to it, but thank God Jewschool did it for me.)

Then there is the Japan earthquake/tsunami. How utterly devastating and incomprehensible. My heart truly aches for all the victims of both this horrible events, as far-flung and differing as they are.

So, here's the check-in. Between the move from Kansas City, spending the last couple of days trying to settle into my parents' house for seven weeks, and saying a kind-of goodbye to David today (he will be in an extended stay place through April while we wait for our new house to open up,) I am physically and emotionally spent. As much as we wanted to move back to Ohio, there are lots of places and friends we will miss. The trip was hard, taking almost 24 hours with the overnight hotel stay. I spent Shabbat shuffling our stuff around, folding laundry, etc. I shopped for groceries and made a menu plan for the next couple of weeks. I made my first batch of hamantaschen, which I'll post about tomorrow. Yum.

Despite all this, I managed to get some writing done every day but one - yesterday. It is amazing to me that I wrote at all on Friday, mid-travel, but I did. It's one of those situations, I think, when you're powering through everything, and being a SuperIma plus, which is to say that you're doing all your Ima duties, getting something done for yourself, and smiling and looking pretty while doing it, and then the day after your powering-through stops being a necessity? You utterly collapse. I have never had a bigger urge to slack than I did yesterday. Of course, I don't love the results, which is ruining my Project 365 track record. *Shrug* Nothing I can do now, though, except set my goal for this week - I'm vowing to keep writing every day from here on out.

But that's what I'm going to call the minor goal for the week because there's something potentially much bigger that I can do for myself this coming week. There are a couple of things going on this week that could be really important for me professionally, which is to say, I will be in Columbus for a handful of hours this week talking to some People about some Things that I could be Doing as a Professional.

Just thinking about getting back to work in a full time job makes me giddy and excited and nauseous with the excitement/self-censoring-about-getting-too-excited lest I get my hopes up. Yep. I'm a mess. In a good way. I think. I hope. AAAAAAARGH!

So if you please, send me some "You are awesome" vibes this week. I'm really trying to channel everything I have into being put-together and self-confident, beautiful, appropriately enthusiastic, and well spoken. I believe in myself. I know I have what it takes to go above and beyond as a rabbi/Jewish professional. I really am good at this stuff. I've gained a lot of perspective from being a stay-at-home Ima this year, and I now know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am better and my family is better when I am doing work that makes my heart sing.

For my part, in order to help this all along, I'm going to give myself extra care. I'm going to eat well, try to get some exercise, and above all, get enough sleep. I'm going to give myself naptime to really mentally prepare for these conversations. A bunch of stuff is going to slide, and the children may have to entertain one another or themselves. Our mishloach manot will be very, very simple. But if it helps, it will be so, so worth it.

So please, please put all your thoughts, vibes, hopes, prayers, or whatever it is you send out when you want to make a bid for goodwill or Goodwill that I can make something work out. I need this. We all need this.

What about you, SuperImas, SuperAbbas, SuperLadies, SuperEveryone? How was the last week? What are you going to let slide in order to give yourself the time, energy, or love that you need?

You're doing a great job, seriously. Keep up the good work.

On Jewish Day School (vs.? and?) Jewish Camp

2011-03-08T05:23:00.000-08:00

In our home, this conversation is about a year older than our oldest child:

Jewish day school is an incredible thing. Children get Judaic and Hebrew studies right along with their regular school subjects, many times beautifully integrated (a science lesson about recycling is connected to the Jewish value of shemirat hateva, for example.) They are part of an everyday Jewish prayer and learning environment that also imparts a strong sense of community and love for your fellow Jew.

We are definitely sending our children to Jewish day school. It is important, and we are very principled about that. Wait. It costs how much?

We kept having the conversation about whether to send them to day school, until we said the one thing that pretty much ended the conversation for me: "Maybe we should just stop at three children, so that we can (maybe?) afford Jewish day school." Uh, what? Was I seriously letting the cost of Jewish day school dictate the size of my family? This was the turning point for me. Now, whether we go on to have a fourth child, obviously, remains to be determined. We did conclude, as a result of the fallout from that comment, was that we believe it is possible to raise happy, Jewishly-identifying and knowledgeable children without sending them to day school. So, here are the three reasons we are okay with not sending our kids to Jewish Day School:

1. You can give your kids much of the Jewish education and experience that Jewish day school can.

I truly believe that any family can impart a sense of love for being Jewish and tidbits of Jewish and Hebrew learning in their home if they are even a little bit determined. It takes hard work, yes:

You have to to celebrate Shabbat - every week.
You have to read Jewish books and listen to Jewish music - all the time.
You have to take your kids to shul, and not just for their friends' bnei mitzvah.
If you keep kosher, you have to pack lunch for them - every day.
Jewish values language has to become part of your everyday vocabulary.
You have to make a big deal about preparing for and celebrating the holidays - every holiday.
You have to prepare yourself to answer your kids' questions about Judaism and God, or at least know how to find the answers with them.
When you send your children to Hebrew school, you have to make it a priority, take it seriously, review/reinforce at home, and make sure they attend - every class.

These are things I would like to see every Jewish family doing regardless of whether they choose to send their children to Day School. (I'm not saying that Day School families don't do these things, and in fact, when Day School families do them, their children's takeaway from Jewish Day School is that much higher.)

2. It is just not in the budget.
We simply don't have the cash to send all three of our kids to Jewish day school.

I've personally lived in cities where Jewish day school tuition (as advertised) runs from around 7K (yay, Hyman Brand Hebrew Academy!!!) up to 15K and beyond. Per child. And that's before the expected additional donation. Per child. I'll let you do the math.

Most schools do have a generous scholarship system, but we wouldn't qualify. My husband makes a very generous salary, but the monthly take-home pay reality is much smaller because of the payments we are making on the student loans that it took to get us the education we have.

We scrimp and save - eating beans and rice-type meals most nights, for example - just to get some cash into savings. After almost a year and a half of working on it, we are still only halfway to building our minimum emergency fund. We're not even close to being able to put a down payment on a house - a dream three to four years off, at least - and those student loans? We'll have gray hair before they're paid off.

At the end of the day, it is more important to us to provide a strong financial foundation for our family and teach our children about financial responsibility - not spending beyond our means - than it is to keep up with the Cohens and spend more than we can afford sending them to day school. Financial responsibility is just as important a Jewish value as providing a Day School education.

3. When forced to choose between Day School and Jewish Camp, Camp wins hands-down (for our family.)

Jewish camp costs about one thousand dollars per week per child, making it about as expensive as Jewish Day School at the very low end. So, obviously, it's a luxury, right?

Well, to us, no.
We have slowly been realizing just how expensive child care is. When there are two work-outside-the-home parents (and I hope to be one of those again sooner rather than later,) you have to pay someone to take care of your kids during the summer, because school isn't in session. Day camp is nearly as expensive as sleepaway camp, and doesn't offer the same Hogwarts-like magical experience.

Kids almost never L-O-V-E going to school every day. Almost every kid I've talked to who went to sleepaway camp L-O-V-E-S camp and everything about it. Forced to choose, I would rather pay for my kids to have an intensely positive takeaway from the Jewish educational experience I pay so many thousands of dollars for. And I do believe that Jewish camp is an seriously educational endeavor, for all the reasons Rabbi Sommer discussed in her post here.

I am 100% that the Jewish Camp we've chosen for our children will give our kids a rich Jewish experience, teach them a lot, and go a long way towards making them into adults who are knowledgeable and strong in their Judaism, respect others, and, above all, love their fellow Jews. What more could you ask for?

And now for the big fat final disclaimer, copied from my friend Mara's post that inspired this one and discusses almost-the-same-but-totally-not topic:
Hopefully I didn’t step on any toes. Obviously the conclusions that I draw are for my family – and my family alone. I’d love to know how you all are dealing with Jewish Day School (vs.? and?) Jewish Camp decisions.

SuperIma Sunday Check-in: the Eerie Moving non-Panic

2011-03-06T15:44:00.000-08:00

Maybe it's because I'm used to being panicked about something, but I am kind of freaked out by how calm I am about this move. See, David's firm is paying for the movers to pack up our house. We didn't even have to ask, it's just part of the package. Everyone is telling me to go ahead and let them pack, control freak that I may be, because 1. It will be easier and 2. If anything breaks in the move, they are responsible.

So here I sit, in a house that is more or less fully intact, that, three days from now, will be all packed up and on a moving truck. It is kind of a crazy feeling.

Of course, we are happy to be moving back home, so that adds an air of relaxed giddiness to everything, kind of like when you are finished with finals and ready to go on break. I say "kind of" because of course David still has to go to work and I still have to...well, go to work.

I think that both of us got a full night's sleep for the first time in a long time this past Shabbat. Even though it was the National Day of Unplugging, I took the opportunity of a well-rested husband with no work to do (so he was available to entertain the children) to do some long-neglected work on my writing for pleasure. I got down almost 3000 words yesterday, and it felt really good. Then I went to the library to find some audio books for our car trip. I am beside myself - BESIDE MYSELF - at this fabulous find, that will keep me in guilty-pleasure listening land for quite some time. (I love you Maggie.)

As for letting the laundry slide? I tried, friends, truly I did. But by Friday afternoon the mountain was just too unbearable. And unruly. Seriously, one afternoon all I wanted was to find one undershirt for Asher, and despite the pounds of clean laundry overflowing onto the floor, I couldn't find a single one. I broke down and folded and put away it all, in a marathon one-and-a-half-hour session. David was pleasantly surprised, to say the least.

But other things did slide, don't worry. For example, my non-perishable groceries sat in the middle of the kitchen floor on Friday until Nesyah finally raided them.

(She is obsessed with Bamba.)

This week is going to be completely insane. Everything is going to slide. We will probably eat more Chipotle and pizza than is reasonable, which I'm saying is fine because we've done a really good job of using up almost everything out of our freezer and fridge. There will be almost zero food waste with this move, thank God, so a couple of expensive takeout dinners due to transition are not going to phase me that much.

(love to watch my girl eating pizza like a champ)

I'm still going to write. Every day. I'm at an exciting point in my drivel and adding to it makes me feel so, so happy.

So, SuperImas, check in! Was your week at least a little bit sane? What's your plan for the next week to keep yourself out of crazyland and in some state of calm?

You are doing a great job, all of you. (((HUGS))) And high fives!

***Stay tuned for the Check-In next week, when I come to mind-blowing conclusions about how/why I've managed to do almost nothing pertaining to my chosen career (rabbi, remember?) in almost a YEAR! I know, oy, right?****

SuperIma Sunday Check-in: Better Late than Never?

2011-02-28T14:23:00.000-08:00

Oh, friends. I can't believe I missed the check-in yesterday.

I had it all planned out. Fly to Indianapolis on Friday morning, get picked up, drive two and a half hours to Dayton for my sister's bridal shower. Pizza dinner Friday night, Saturday morning spa and lunch, co-host, decorate, and coordinate Saturday evening dinner. Super-early Sunday morning, drive back to Indy, hop on a plane. All this with the baby. Land in Kansas City just in time to drive straight to the synagogue for their 100th Anniversary Torah dedication with David and kids in tow. Get home, give the children a snack, go back out for weekly grocery shopping. Edit 160 photos from the weekend and post to Flickr. Write the SuperIma Sunday Check In. Work on some writing for pleasure, which has been sorely ignored..

Flights were on time, the baby didn't fuss, I looked fabulous, I did get the photos from the shower edited and posted, etc.

(we looked this put-together and happy for about 10 total minutes this weekend)

It all worked out perfectly, until I got home from the Torah ceremony mid-Sunday afternoon. All I wanted - ALL I wanted after two days of baby puke and plane rides - was a hot shower. So I took one. And then I felt sick, like that exhausted-in-your-head-and-stomach-and-nothing-you-can-do-about-it sick. It was five o'clock. I sat down with Rami to watch some TV, just for a little bit, and woke up at 11:30 PM. I scrolled through my Google Reader on my phone, saw that sweet Shannon had posted her check-in, thought for half a second about getting up to post mine, and fell back asleep again.

Yeah, it was crazy. And it still is. The house-finding insanity should be tied up today, even though it meant that we had to make some pretty creative child care and travel arrangements to make it happen. The good news is that now the move is only a week and a half away. The bad news is that the move is only a week and a half away. I have to coordinate all the moving services, prep subs and lesson plans for the teaching job I'm leaving mid-second semester, and prep for a job interview (!!!) tomorrow night (!!!!!!).

BUT! I am still committed to my SuperIma sanity. I'm letting the laundry slide (what's new?). But this time my excuse is that I'm sorting through what we absolutely must take with us and keep for our seven-week sojourn at my parents' house in Dayton (our house isn't available till May,) and what can stay on the truck for that time. And I'm still working out and writing every day, which are my two little islands of calm in this tempest of moving a family.

Okay, SuperImas, check in! What are you letting slide to make way for some you-things this week?

SuperIma Sunday Check-In: Heading Home

2011-02-20T17:23:00.000-08:00

Hello, Friends!

Wow. It's been a heck of a week.
On Monday, David had a job interview.
On Wednesday, David got a job offer. So we found out we're going home.
The next two days were a whirlwind of trying to figure out where we were going to live, when we were going to move, and how we were going to inform our respective jobs here in Kansas City.
Oh, and taking care of our children, and doing the housework, and getting the food on the table, and and and.

So. Things have been completely crazy and insane. Logistically and emotionally.
My thing I was going to do for myself this week was to really concentrate on getting back into fighting form, and finally kicking my last twelve baby pounds in the rear.
I was doing really well - getting up before five o'clock to work out, eating sensibly.
That is, until Monday afternoon, when the stress of the OMIGODDIDHEGETTHEJOB kicked in. And I ate six coconut bonbons without batting an eye.

Yeah. The rest of the week kind of went on like that. I worked out every morning, though, and maybe the stress balanced out the stress eating, because I ended the week not losing a pound, but not gaining one either. Which is better than last week went.

But! I am still committed to reclaiming my post-pregnancy hottttness from all the way back in 2006.

Except we are moving in two weeks, and

have you seen what they are selling in stores these days?????

Have you???

My plan for the coming week is to use jeans that are slightly too tight to counterbalance my urge to scarf the chocolate and coconut goodness, in various forms, that I have brought into my home.

Is that self-abusive? Do you think? Weigh in, everyone. (Pun intended.)

Um, this week - I'm going to let the laundry slide, for sure. For two weeks now, I haven't gotten around to folding it on Thursday, which means it just gets folded Sunday afternoon. No big deal. It takes a little longer, but I get a little more time during the week.

My commitment is to get enough sleep. As tempting as it is to pull all-nighter when you're packing up a house to move, I'm going to make sure I get at least six hours of sleep each night. And work out every morning. And try not to stress-eat too much. I swear.

Now it's your turn! What are you letting slide? And what are you doing for yourself?
Hugs to everyone! You're doing an awesome job.

SuperIma Sunday Check-in: Yogurt with a Fork

2011-02-13T13:06:00.000-08:00

Hello, dear friends.

(image from Kimberly Taylor images)

This morning I grabbed a container of yogurt with grape nuts for breakfast. I was running off to teach Hebrew school, and really wanted a disposable spoon so that I wouldn't have to remember to bring a real spoon back in from the car (yes, I'm that lazy. What?) We didn't have a spoon, but we had a ton of forks we had left from what we ~~lifted~~ had extra of from Chipotle a couple weeks ago.

I thought it would be okay. I thought the fork would be good enough to use to eat the yogurt, if not ideal. The yogurt is substantial enough to be lifted by the fork.

What I found was, I could eat most of the yogurt with the fork. It took a little longer and a little more effort than I would have liked, but I was still able to eat most of it without too much a problem. But there were still glops of yogurt that fell through the cracks of the fork. They gathered in the corners of the container, and the tines of the fork were really horrible at scraping them out. And so some yogurt inevitably stayed in the cracks of the container, and I couldn't get it out. Not unless I wanted to use my finger, or lick the darn thing.

It's been a tough week. My life is good, and I am fortunate. We have enough money and we all have our health. We love one another. But I am doing my job - mothering, housekeeping - with a fork instead of a spoon. There is no passion in me for a fourteen hour workday of keeping the children and house, with occasional middle-of-the-night duties as well. The effects of the edges being left, languishing in the bottom of the container, are beginning to wear on me.

(I love my children to the ends of the earth and with all that I have, but that is very different than loving wiping their bottoms and noses all day long. But I think we've established that.)

So, I've realized, that I need to make a way to find the fork work. For now, at least. Maybe there is a lesson, or at least some grace, to be found in being forced to leave a little bit of yogurt in the bottom, never to be eaten. Maybe there is some philosophy, or some therapy, that will help me not mind missing the little bit of yogurt stuck in the bottom quite so much.

Over the next few weeks, I should have a clearer picture of what will need to happen for me to not hate the fork so much for not doing such a great job that I want to snap it at the neck, hurl it across the room, and give up yogurt forever. I am going to work towards it. I have to.

***Leaving overreaching analogy land***

In terms of my goals, this week pretty much kicked butt. I am now officially declaring myself in the homestretch of my writing-for-pleasure project; about three-quarters of the way to my word-count goal, and I am feeling pretty good.

I am adding to my SuperIma goal for the week. Over the past few weeks, things have been emotionally stressful here at the Kopans bayit (and I hope I can share why with you soon, if all goes as I would like.) I've been eating like I do when I'm pregnant (ALTHOUGH I AM NOT PREGNANT I ASSURE YOU) - whatever I want, whenever I want.

I was doing okay with losing my baby weight. At 12 lbs above my goal, I relaxed a little. The problem is, over the past two weeks, I've relaxed a lot. So much so that I'm now 13-14 lbs over my goal. Um....oops?

So, partly inspired by Shannon's return to Weight-Watchers, I'm going to be considering this this week: What is best for me is maybe not what I WANT RIGHT NOW OMIGOD GIVE ME THAT CHOCOLATE. What is best for me is to keep going with my commitment to myself to get back in fighting shape. Because if I can't have a job, I can at the very least be sexy. Even if that means eating a lot of fruit, whole grains, and yogurt. With a fork.

So, what about you, SuperImas? How did you do on your goals for the last week, and what are you looking at for the week ahead?

SuperIma Sunday Check-in: Being Gentle to Ourselves

2011-02-06T12:03:00.000-08:00

Hello, friends. Do you want to hear about my last week in which I was a miserable failure?

1. Monday was the first and only time this week that I did alef-bet worksheets with Asher.
2. On Tuesday, I only worked out for 20 minutes.
3. I didn't fold the laundry on Wednesday night as I should have. And I felt annoyed with David when he implied that I should bring him some dinner. (I should. He is working nonstop and studying for the bar in between. He sleeps 3 hours a night.)
4. I ate a pumpkin muffin for lunch on Thursday. Then I skipped folding laundry in favor of tossing shirts, pants, and socks into their appropriate bins. They will be sadly wrinkled, and I'm sure people will wonder.
5. When slinging the challah ingredients into the bread machine on Friday morning, I completely forgot oil. An hour and a half later the very crumbly dough was discovered and thrown out, wasting a bunch of flour and three eggs. Then, I used my last eggs on the second batch, which consequently didn't get an eggwash and sat on my Shabbos table, looking at me, dull as dirt.

On Friday afternoon while I was listing and stewing over these housewife's sins, suddenly, like a bat kol (voice from heaven), it occurred to me - I was being very rough on myself. I remembered how last week, my friend Halli was being all Zen in the comments section and said, "....striving for perfection leads to failure." And I was all, "Hal, I'm not striving for perfection, okay?" But as I was writing this list, I thought, hey! If these are my greatest faults, what would I have been happy with this week? Pretty much only perfection? Yeah. (Sorry, Hal.)

Then I thought of the age-old advice that we shouldn't judge our insides by everyone else's outsides. In other words, I never stop to consider what other people are eating for lunch, or whether they fold their kids' undershirts. Because they're smiling and their hair looks good, I assume that their entire lives are perfect. It's easy to forget that no one is perfect.

Then I remembered what my bloggy friend Shannon taught us in this January's post:
You deserve more credit for doing a little when it's hard than for doing a lot when it's easy.

And you guys, lately, it's been hard. Really hard. As much as I really want to be happy, like really do, I am having a very hard time adjusting to this new day-to-day life of mine. And so I think, according to Shannon's axiom, I just need to cut myself some slack, mentally, I mean. I need to be gentle with myself, and realize that to some people the fact that I did worksheets with my kid, touched the laundry more than once, and bothered to make challah at all would be pretty impressive. Who am I trying to impress?

I did a great job with my writing for pleasure last week. I'm still averaging around 1000 words a day, which considering the limited time I have, I'm happy with. If you want to read about my writing craziness, by the way, you can do so daily at my shiny new writing blog - just because it's my Project 365 this year, I thought I could do with some accountability (last year my only 365 was photography, so Flickr served that purpose.)

This week, I'm going to try to be gentler on myself, and play the Devil's Advocate to my own inner Perfectionist. What about you?

(Shannon, who's a star, posted her Check-in before I even started typing. You can read her fabulous update here.)

A Frugal Ima Frugal Recipe: Thai-Ish Chickpeas

2011-02-03T17:54:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I know it's maybe been getting a little ridiculous with all the soups and stews and hot one-pot whatnots I've been posting here as Frugal Ima Frugal Recipes. But in my defense? It was -7 degrees here today. So a crock pot meal is more than in order. (On that note, a special shoutout to David who ate lentil soup two nights in a row this week. The second night was over pasta as per my craving/complete laziness.)

Today was the kind of day that made me want to crawl under my couch cushions and stay there until the thermometer hits 60. So I want to share a recipe that is not only super-frugal but also packs two kinds of heat - the hot kind and the spicy kind.

I raised an eyebrow when I read the recipe Mara chose to feature on her blog for her "Crock Pot" kosher recipe exchange - It involved sloshing some chicken around in a mixture of salsa and peanut butter, letting it sit in the crock pot and...well, that's really about it. I was all, that's gross, Mara, but then I bit my tongue when my fleishig-loving parents came to town and I was struggling for something quick and easy I could make out of my pantry. Peanut butter and salsa? Always in my pantry. I made the chicken and all I can say is OhmyGod Maraisagenius nomnomnom.

I suspect that I am even more of a cheapskate than Mara. And not in a good way. So when my parents went home, I was back to my beans-and-rice-eating miserly ways, but I couldn't get that chicken out of my head. Seriously, it was so good. Three days later, I saw a bag of chickpeas in my pantry. Then I realized that there are entire Indian-food dishes that consist of chickpeas, sauce, and rice, so not only would it be uber-cheap but also kind of authentic? Maybe?

Extra bonus for you Yidden, especially us hippy-dippy-affiliated ones (for example, anyone who davens without shoes regularly or has ever lived in or visited Upsal Gardens - you know who you are) - this is a great pareve dish you can throw in the crock pot on Erev Shabbos in case one of those crazy Vegetarian Jews wanders into your house on Shabbos looking for an incredible meal. You know, the ones for whom you normally bake a slab of tofu doused in sauce and whip some quinoa because you just don't know what else to do, even though they probably eat that every single Shabbos and are so sick of it it's coming out of their ears.

Okay. On with the show. Here's what you'll need:

1 bag dried chickpeas (or a couple of cans)
1 1/2 c salsa
2/3 c peanut butter (creamy or crunchy, doesn't matter)
4 tbsp lemon or lime juice
2 tbsp soy sauce
Some peanuts, if you have them.
stray veggies
hot red pepper, salt, ginger, and garlic to taste

Rinse your chickpeas and cook them in some water for a couple of hours. Or soak them over night. Whatever your M.O. for dried beans is. (Do you guys want a tutorial on that? Because I can do one.)

Chop up your peanuts and whatever else needs to be chopped. (Yeah, I just included this step because I like the picture)

Toss everything in the crock pot. You can put freezerburned veggies, drying-out onions you chopped but didn't use, whatever. I think cauliflower or green beans might be good in this, and I would not hesitate to put corn or carrots in either.

Dump in the lemon juice and the soy sauce, and whatever spices you want.

I covered the whole mess once with garlic powder and red pepper, and half with ginger. Not too much salt, either, because the peanut butter and peanuts are kind of salty.

Stir it up and let it sit there. High for four hours or low for seven or more.

Eat it with some white rice, or some naan, or challah, or whatever. Seriously, this was so good I forgot to take a picture of it until I had already mixed it up and eaten half of it.

Chickpeas: $1.12
Salsa: $1
Peanut Butter: $.75
Rice: $.75
Other Stuff: Let's say $3, liberally

That brings this meal in at right under $7. Frugal, and yields leftovers for lunch the next day. So you can afford to buy yourself a drink! Or five.

Happy Frugal Cooking!

SuperIma Sunday Check-in: The Feminine Mystique Edition

2011-01-30T16:05:00.000-08:00

It is 5:24 PM and I am just now sitting down to write the SuperIma Sunday Check-in. If you've been waiting all day to link up (Shannon?) I'm so, so sorry.

David and I reached an all time low last night. Not in our relationship, just, you know, in our general being. We both fell asleep on the couch, I think around 9:30, and didn't rouse until right before 3 AM. When we dragged our sorry selves upstairs to our bed, the sound of us walking up the stairs woke Nesyah (who was in another room, behind a closed door.) By the time I got her back down it was 4:00, by the time I fell asleep again it was 4:30. So, I "slept in" till 6:45, meaning I didn't get my grocery shopping done super-early as usual. I ended up having to stay at Sunday School longer than expected, meaning I didn't make it to the mobbed grocery, Asher in tow, till almost 1:00. I got back home at 2:30, stuffed my face with something, peeled some carrots, chopped some onions, made some baby food, entertained the children, fetched snacks and juice, cleaned all the floors, managed some laundry, baked a batch of Mara's pumpkin muffins, changed diapers, did potty time. Now I'm feeding the baby one of the muffins and some cottage cheese for her dinner, and typing this between spoonfuls.

When I was shopping, I found these alphabet crackers. Aren't they cute?

(Not really physically, even. More emotionally.)

It took me 25 minutes today, between tasks, to order some %$#*ing diapers on Amazon. And *that* was my quiet time.

I can't find my water bottle because the boys are obsessed with drinking from it. They have stolen it and stashed it somewhere, so I don't even get a drink of water.

David isn't slacking. He's got a big presentation at work on Thursday, and he's been using every free moment to prepare. That is his job. This is mine.

Terry Gross interviewed Stephanie Coontz about her book about The Feminine Mystique this past week. Ms. Coontz mentioned that she had never read The Feminine Mystique before writing her own book about it, and I realized that college-educated me had never read it either. I downloaded it to my Kindle and you guys? Check this out - an interview with a woman for the book:

"I love the kids and [my husband] and my home. There's no problem you can even put a name to. But I'm desperate. I begin to feel I have no personality. I'm a server of food and a putter-on of pants and a bedmaker, somebody who can be called on when you want something. But who am I?"

and

"Then you wake up one morning and there's nothing to look forward to."

Yes, yes, yes.

I'm whining. I know. I'm fortunate. My husband has a job. My children are healthy. I have a roof over my head. Oh, wait. What's that, Ms. Friedan?

"The problem was dismissed by telling the housewife she doesn't realize how lucky she is - her own boss, no time clock, no junior executive gunning for her job. What if she isn't happy - does she think men are happy in this world?"

There's more like that. A lot more.
Of course the difference now is that I could, theoretically, get a job. But it doesn't really help my sadness that I'm sitting and reading a book that my grandmother probably sat and read, and nodding in agreement at all the parts she did.

Anyway. The check-in. I did an okay job at my writing for pleasure this week, and I'm going to keep that as my goal, because it feels good when I get a lot of words done, and I don't know what else would. I chopped and baked today so I don't have to do it later in the week, and I'm folding laundry tonight so I don't have to tomorrow. The floors will be slightly dirtier than they should be. And no one will die.

What about you, fellow Super-Imas? How did last week go, and what are your plans for the one ahead?

Shekels Worth Spending - The Importance of Learning CPR.

2011-01-28T12:31:00.000-08:00

Okay, frugalistos and frugalistas, I know there was no recipe posted yesterday, as has been my Thursday custom. Thursdays are normally pretty chill around here but yesterday things were crazy - and I mean CUH-RAY-ZEE. I want to tell you what I was up to last evening that made the first part of my day so frantic, even though just 24 hours ago I thought I was too embarrassed to post about it.

Here goes.

So you know how b''H* I had three babies in the space of three years? And how it is pretty much implied that when I took each of them home with me from the hospital I was now responsible for keeping them alive? And un-maimed?

And you know how I had absolutely no idea what I would do if I found one of them choking, or not breathing, or without a pulse (chas v'shalom)?

Um, yeah. I'm not proud that I didn't know how to give my children CPR, mouth-to-mouth, or First Aid properly until last night.

According to the CDC:

Injury is the leading cause of death in children and young adults. According to the most recent statistics from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), there were approximately 2,800 children, ages one to 14 years, that died from an unintentional injury .
Falls are the leading cause of unintentional injury for children. Children ages 14 and under account for one-third of all fall-related visits to hospital emergency rooms.
unintentional injury-related death among children ages one to 14. The majority of drownings and near-drownings occur in residential swimming pools and in open water sites. However, children can drown in as little as one inch of water.
Airway obstruction injury is the leading cause of unintentional injury-related death among infants under age one.
Approximately 45 percent of unintentional injury deaths occurred in and around the home. Unintentional home injury deaths to children are caused primarily by fire and burns, suffocation, drowning, firearms, falls, choking and poisoning.

So last night, David and I attended a CPR and First Aid course that our boys' preschool graciously hosted. It cost $40 for each of us, and we paid the babysitter $40. That is $120 that we could have spent on two (or maybe even three) date nights. It represents three months' clothing budget and one and a half weeks worth of groceries. It's a month's worth of gas and half a year's worth of my personal "hobbies" budget.

And it was worth every single penny. More, even. We got to practice on some dummies, and ask questions. While it was totally freaky to be doing rescue breathing on anything even remotely resembling my baby, I am so glad that I got some hands-on instruction. Even David, who was reluctant to go because he had worked on the ambulances with Magen David Adom back in 2001, was really happy that he went, because the guidelines and best practices for CPR have changed in the last couple of years.

Pikuach Nefesh means "Saving a Life," and it is pretty much the highest Jewish value. You can transgress almost any commandment for the sake of saving a life. So it seemed to me that $120 was a paltry amount of cash in the name of doing that.

If you haven't brushed up on your CPR and First Aid skills in awhile, especially if you are a parent, consider taking a class or, at the very least, watching some videos online as a refresher. Here's one that was pretty decent and up-to-date.

In summary, as much of a cheapskate as I am, no amount of money is too much to make sure I can help my children or anyone else who may be in trouble, God forbid. I'm grateful for the opportunity to have spent what was, for us, a pretty big chunk of change to learn how to do that.

Shabbat Shalom Umevorach from the Kopans Bayit to you!

_________

*Baruch HaShem = "Thank God"
** Chas V'Shalom = "God forbid."

SuperIma Sunday Check-In

2011-01-23T04:42:00.000-08:00

You know how sometimes your local weatherman will be all excited about a mini-snowmageddon to hit your town at just the right time and intensity for you to cancel Hebrew school on Sunday? But you want to be all responsible and level-headed so you send an email out to your Hebrew school parents that you'll update them in the morning? You go to bed with visions of a healthy three inches on the road when you wake up, and cuddling the morning away with ~~your family~~ your Kindle on the couch.

Yeah, you know what happens next.

You wake up and there is LITERALLY NO (new) SNOW ON THE GROUND. What the hell, weatherman???? (I know I'm yelling but it's my blog, which is literally the only place I can do whatever I want, and I'm going to do it.) WTF George Waldenberger?

I know, I was too hasty. I called the snow day in my head waaaay before I should have. And I don't actually mind going to Hebrew school on Sunday mornings - at the very least, I get to wear real (ish) clothes, and all the little children learning their Hebrew letters warms my heart. But I had already mentally given myself three extra hours, man! And now there's no snow.

In case you can't tell, I've been stewing over this since I woke up about an hour ago. I just now stopped with my Very Important Procrastinating to actually write this post, just as my children started literally banging on their bedroom door and shrieking like monkeys to ~~get out wreak their havoc upon my home~~ wake up for the day. Oh, I love a 14 hour work day.

What? We're supposed to do a check-in? Right.

You guys, it's been a bad week. I baked and cooked and cleaned and completed preschool worksheets and sang songs and built forts and did dances and sat in birds' nests and supervised painting projects and planted bean sprouts for Tu B'Shvat with a smile plastered across my face. My sweet friend Gevura told me to "fake it till I make it," which is advice I've actually heard shrinks give people who are clinically depressed, so I've been faking it here. Bigtime. But for some reason, this week I am just in a huge slump. I'm so, so sad. I ~~feel~~ am so frumpy and feel so utterly useless.

I need to get back to work. Yesterday. I need to wear high heels and do my hair every day. I need to have conversations with grownups, conversations that do not include even a mention of playdates, stomach flus, preschool, or poop. I need to use the skills that make me feel engaged and alive, because I am dying here.

On a happier note! I'm doing an awesome job at my writing for pleasure, and it is giving me some feeling of accomplishment. Even though the full time work I used to do makes my heart sing an opera, this writing is making it sing little ditties, and sometimes even enthusiastic showtunes. So that's something. Here's my day-by-day count.

(date, word count for the day, total word count.)

I hinted at my goal for the week earlier in this post - it's to stop with the procrastination already. Why it's necessary for me to refresh my Facebook newsfeed 20 times and post "lol" and "<3" on twenty friends' pages before actually writing anything of substance is beyond me. I actually disconnected from the internet for about an hour yesterday and it helped immensely. Hopefully I can move my daily wordcount to over a thousand this week, since it was just under last week.

Last week I only vaccuumed every other day, and we had leftovers for dinner one night and stew from the freezer another night. And no one died. So I'm okay with just saying I'm going to let things slide a little bit, because I've confident in my ability not to sabotage myself.

Before I call for you ladies to submit your accomplishments, slacking ambitions, and goals for the next week, I want to give a huge shoutout to my bloggy friend Shannon. She did something incredible for herself this past week that took a lot of hard work and self confidence, and even though I don't know know her, I was so excited and proud. She already posted about her next big goal, and I'm so inspired! (Even though you will not catch me doing a triathalon under any circumstances, Yay Shannon!)

What about you, SuperImas? Check in! XOXO and love from me.

A Frugal Ima Super-Frugal Recipe: Babka (means 'I Love You')

2011-01-19T08:53:00.000-08:00

You know how all of us grew up learning "Food equals Love?" And it totally messed us up in terms of associating eating with comfort, and then comfort with eating so much we got fat, and then we had low self esteem, but we still have to eat to stay alive, and so now we're totally emotional and dieting wrecks?

No? Just me again?

Sure, comfort eating has totally messed us up, but it's called "comfort eating" for a reason. Let's take comfort in it. (You know, every once in awhile.)

On my top 5 Comfort Foods list is "babka." In capital letters. The name "babka" comes from the Polish word for "grandmother," so that just adds a guilt-heavy "I baked for you and now you're not eating?" layer to all the comfort-food-eating ~~anguish~~ ~~meshugas~~ bliss.

I know you're scoffing at me, but in my defense, it could be worse. I found this recipe in my bread machine cookbook. The best thing about it (or the worst thing about it, depending who you ask,) is that it's not nearly as rich and fatty as Deb's gorgeous replication of the Jewish deli classic. As far as authenticity goes, I really can't tell you. Even though my own grandmother is super-Polish, she's not really famous for her Polish cooking. Go figure.

Packaged babka at the grocery store is shipped from halfway across the country will cost you a small fortune, which makes this a super-frugal recipe.

Here's what you'll need:
Dough:
1 2/3 c water
3 tbsp butter, cut into pieces (or margarine, if your bread machine is pareve like mine.)
4 c flour
2 tbsp white sugar
2 tsp salt
1 tbsp yeast

Filling:
1/4 c (half a stick) butter
1 c brown sugar
4 tsp cinnamon
2 tbsp melted butter, for brushing

(or for chocolate filling)
1 1/3 c white sugar
5 tbsp cocoa powder
4 tsp cinnamon
mini chocolate chips

Mix together the ingredients for the dough and knead until smooth. Allow a first rise. Or, throw everything in your bread machine on the "dough" cycle and take a nap till it beeps. (I know, I'm hilarious.)

Turn the dough onto a well-floured surface and roll into a large rectangle, about 12 by 18 inches.

Mix together filling ingredients, brush dough with 2 tbsp melted butter, and spread filling evenly over the dough, making sure it reaches to the edges.

Starting at a shorter end, roll it up as tightly as you can.

(hello, baby!)

Now, here's where I know it starts to get inauthentic. You're supposed to slice the whole log in half, drop it seam-side down in some greased loaf pans, let it do its second rise, and bake it that way. But I never could figure out how long and what temp to put it in for so that the outside wouldn't be hard and the inside underdone. My family wasn't a fan of goopy half-baked dough for Shabbat breakfast (I know, ridiculous.) So I started slicing it cinnamon-roll style.

So, if you're a loser like me, slice it up and place it in two well-greased round baking pans. Leave a little space between the rolls, because they're going to need to rise again.

I stuck mine in the refrigerator so all I had to do on Shabbat morning was throw them in a preheated oven. Here they are after a second cold rise:

Bake at 350 for 25-30 minutes. Let them cool in the pan for at least 10 minutes or all your cinnamon will ooze out, and then you'll probably weep after all the effort you went to just to make these, and now you've got no cinnamon!

(I'm totally drooling on my keyboard right now.)

Slather it with frosting. I had some buttercream lying around from a sugar cookie effort, but these would be better with cream cheese frosting or even straight confectioner's sugar and water glaze.

I had a bite of some babka without the frosting, because my gall bladder is screaming in protest at buttercream these days. We're star-crossed lovers.

If you're in need of some more babka-related deliciousness, here's a whole post about my boys eating babka circa about a year ago.

Who else is making some this weekend?

SuperIma Sunday Check-in

2011-01-16T12:11:00.000-08:00

Oh, friends. I've been so EMOTIONAL this week. I know that the point of this check-in is to make sure that I'm spending more time nurturing myself and less time with the "shoulds" of stay-at-home Imahood - but I am always feeling torn between the guilt of not spending more playtime with the kids (they help me do a lot of laundry, cooking, and cleaning) and the resentment of not having an hour of my own every day.

So, what's new?

Anyway. I was actually really successful this week. I told you that my new 365 Project is writing, and that my goal was to write 500 words a day. Well......

(Excel document where I track my daily writing)

Thank you. Thankyouverymuch.

I just passed the 25,000 word mark with my writing-for-pleasure stuff, and it feels really good. So this week, I'm going to keep on keepin' on (as my sweet friend Gevura likes to say.) For the first time in a long time, there has been something I'm really looking forward to and excited about every day.

Okay superImas, check in - what are your goals and resolutions for the week?

Hugs and cheers from me!

A Frugal Ima Super-Frugal Recipe: Pierogies

2011-01-13T12:02:00.000-08:00

Okay, cats and kittens, this is going to be a short one because this writing-for-pleasure thing? I am kind of obsessed with it. And it is kind of taking over my life. You know, in an exhilarating way. Raise your hand if you couldn't use some exhilaration.

When my life is stuffed with self-inflicted chaos, I can always use a quick, cheap, comfort-foody recipe to throw on the stove. What I am about to share with you is all those things and more.

As a preface, a few words about my grandmother. Gram is a first generation American whose parents moved from Poland right after the turn of the (last) century. She grew up in the Great Depression with ten siblings (9 sisters and a brother; can you say D-R-A-M-A?)

(Gram and her three closest-in-age siblings. She is the only one scowling. Probably because of that story she told me about how they all had to share one pair of rollerskates. Awesome.)

(Here is a picture of me and Gram and Nesi, because we all look exactly alike. See?)

Gram taught me the meaning of "Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without." She made fabric scraps into doll clothes and place mats, and every bruising apple found its way into a pie. She also taught me how to cook from scratch.

So, as you may have gathered, Gram is super-frugal, and also super-Polish. Add "comfort food" to that equation, and you get (duh) "PIEROGIES." For those of you who don't know, pierogies are a classic Polish dish made up of a big bunch of starch (pasta-like dough) giving a big, fat bear hug to even more starch (mashed potatoes) mixed with fat (butter) and more fat (cheese.) Serve it up with carmelized onions and saurkraut with a dollop of sour cream and you get nom, nom, nom, and OhmyGod YES PLEASE!!!

So of course I asked my super-frugal, super-Polish grandmother for her pierogi recipe, then waited with baited breath. I was envisioning us rolling dough and crimping half-shells together, and giggling as we schvitzed over the mashed potatoes. It was a very sweet daydream.

Then she screamed (lovingly?) at me. "Honey! Why would you make your own pierogies?!??! You can get them so cheap frozen!!!!" (Honest to God, I will never forget that conversation.)

So, here it is - My grandmother's recipe for pierogies. Maybe not so authentic, but at just over two dollars for the whole batch (!!!!) you won't argue, right?

Grab this box of pierogies from the frozen section. I paid $1.12, no joke.

Throw them in boiling water till they float.

~~Drown~~ Sautee a couple of medium onions in butter over medium heat until they are translucent, seasoning with salt and pepper.

Mix in a can of sauerkraut ($.64) at the end.

Pile the onions and kraut on top of your drained pierogies. Then serve it with a dollop of sour cream on top. If you're feeling guilty, fat free is just as good.
No photo because I was so obsessed with eating these things I totally forgot.

You probably should figure out something containing protein to eat alongside these things. Some ice cream, maybe?

SuperIma Sunday Check-in.

2011-01-09T11:53:00.000-08:00

Oh, ladies! What a nice little community of SuperImas we're creating over here. It warms my heart to see that we all need something and somehow our virtual presence is encouraging us to just get it DONE, already.

Quick update on me: I saw the doc last Monday, he thinks that I'm probably experiencing some gallbladder distress (ya think?), but he wanted to do an endoscopy to make sure I didn't have an ulcer or, you know, cancer. Actually, he said he wanted to "scope me," which sounded kind of intriguing until a split second later when I realized what he really meant. Anyhow, a few hours later I was anesthetized, a camera got shoved down my throat, and at least my stomach and esophagus got a clean bill of health. (Yessss.) Next up is an ultrasound, and not the kind I get excited about, and some test to make my gall bladder squeeze to see if it makes me feel sick. And then if my gall bladder acts and/or looks funky, it gets an eviction notice. So, a few weeks till we really have any news on that.

I'm still on a no-fat diet and still feeling more or less okay. B''H.

In baby-cuddling news, I really did make a concerted effort to love on my babies a little more, and I want to say I netted at least half an hour more than usual each day on just snuggles and playtime. Any time Asher asked me to snuggle, or Rami held up his arms for a hug, I did it. Well, about 90% of the times. So that was a win.

For this week's SuperIma resolution, I'm going to really focus on doing some more of that writing for pleasure I mentioned a few weeks back. I've decided that writing is going to be my new Project 365 for this year (even though I'm still going to do the 365 photos, I need something new.) I started scribbling some stuff in December, and I've been writing a few hundred words every day since then. Now I've got 20,000 words worth of one story sitting on my computer.

I want to write every day. Even on the worst of days I can get a hundred or so words tapped out on Evernote via my smartphone. I figure if I average 500 words a day (I've ranged from 300-1500 in one day) for the next 22 weeks, I have something novel-length (about 100,000 words) that I might want to work on some more for the rest of the year. It might be awesome and it might be drek. But at the very least, it will be 100,000 words of a story, which is 100,000 more fiction words than I've ever written. And I think that would feel pretty good.

This week I'm going to make sure I write for at least 30 solid minutes (read: during naptime) each day. If I can swing that, I might move it up to an hour a day the next week.

So far, I've heard from you ladies: Momof3 wants to go on more walks, Halli wants to give a little extra love to her baby. Rachel's trying to get a handle on some organizing and home maintenance stuff. What's everyone else up to? What TLC do you need for yourself, and what can you give up to make room?

Have a great week!

A Frugal Ima Frugal Recipe: Orange Bread

2011-01-06T09:07:00.000-08:00

Good Morning frugal home managers! Is the cold weather getting you down?!!?! Short span of daylight perhaps leaving you a bit depressed?!!?! Undiagnosed malady yuckying up your general existence???!?! Perhaps even causing you to use an embarrassing amount of exclamation points in order to get yourself excited?!?!? No?!?!? Just me?!?!

Well, that was embarrassing. But, it's true. Even my fat ~~compost heap~~ squirrel friend is only garnering half a smile around here.

Yes, indeed, I do suffer from some slight Seasonal Affective Disorder, which is unfortunate considering I've also been known to be an Emotional Eater. A very earnest part of me believes that a good baking day can do almost as much good as a therapist. So, you can imagine the state of my kitchen and my waistline the past couple of months. But, I digress.

I've been finding that any kind of fat, and white flour, aggravate the tummy issues about which I've spent two consecutive Sundays kvetching. No fabulous chocolate cookies for me! I went in search of some recipe for warm yeasty goodness that didn't disagree with me ("Just lay off the baked goods," you say? Clearly you don't know me.)

I thumbed through my bread machine cookbook and came across a little gem of a recipe. What about this particular recipe made me smile? Two oranges' worth of zest. Little bits of sunshine tucked inside a low-fat, whole-grain, aromatic, comfort-food loaf? Yes, please. (The zest is what makes this recipe "Frugal" instead of "Super-Frugal." So worth it.)

I tweaked it to make it pareve, a bit whole-grainier, and a bit lower fat, and here you have it.

Here's what you'll need:

Zest of 2 oranges, grated or cut into very thin strips.
1 2/3 c water
3 tbsp oil
3 tbsp honey

3 c whole wheat flour
1 1/4 c white flour
1 1/2 tsp salt
1 tbsp yeast

(As an aside: Please ignore all this mise en place nonsense that I seem to be evangelizing through my recipe pictures. The number of times you see all my ingredients laid out is the same as the number of times I've bothered to take pictures of stuff for the blog. It is for the sake of economy of photos, and that is all. More often than not I'm tearing open a bag of flour with my teeth while wiping snot with one hand and breaking up a toddler fight with the other. Unless you're coming to our house for Shabbos, in which case all the food is completely sterile and not at all gross.)

My little helper thought it needed a few desiccated Cheerios too. So, once again, mind your helpers.

Knead until smooth, allow a first rise, punch down, form into loaves, allow a second rise, oven at 350 for 30-ish minutes. You know the drill.

OR, if your S.A.D/your general home management duties have you otherwise occupied, chuck all of it in a bread machine and take it out four hours later. Guess which one I picked!

Is this bread related to my brand-new obsession with marmalade? Probably! Am I loving it? Yesssss.

Don't you feel sunshiny-er already??!?!??!

See you Sunday. :)

SuperIma Sunday Check-in

2011-01-02T14:24:00.000-08:00

Hello SuperImas! It's that time of week again, where we check in to report on what we've adjusted in the past week to bring a little bit more sanity to our lives, and what our plan is for the coming week. I really believe that without a plan to accomplish something, it will never happen. So, this is my self-imposed accountability.

How was your week and your (hopefully) long weekend?

I've been feeling rather spoiled the past couple of weeks, because David's had two three-day weekends in a row, meaning I've been able to have real adult conversations all day long for an extra day each week. I'm going to be really sad to see that go.

Last week I told you about some health concerns I've been having. To recap, I thought I had the stomach flu three times in three weeks. By the third time, I was getting a little suspicious. What's going on can be summed up by: persistent nausea, which is angered by eggs, coffee, and anything remotely fatty. Oh, and upper stomach pain. And now right shoulder pain. My own Ima said that sounded like gall bladder issues, so I thought, What the Hell? and started following a "gall-bladder diet" - basically, no fat, except for a teaspoon at a time. And guess what? I feel loads better, still slightly nauseous at all times, but nothing debilitating. Except for this morning when I snagged a tortilla chip without thinking and wanted to die for an hour afterwards.

Still, I'd like to be able to eat with confidence again, so I'm seeing the doc tomorrow at 8. Keep your fingers crossed for me that there is actually something he can diagnose and I don't walk out of there with the doctor all, "Keep your psychosomatic ridculousness to yourself you crazy old bat" and me all, "My stomach really does hurt, and also I'm only 28 years old, jerkface!"

I'm posting quite late in the day because I got up, dawdled for an hour or so, did my cardio, got Ashi a haircut, took the boys grocery shopping, chopped veggies for two weeks worth of meals (minestrone, cholent, and lentil soup), made Nesi some baby food (yes I know she's too big for purees but she likes them and she's my tiny sweet baby so I'm going to give in on this one thing for now) cleaned up the kitchen, and organized the pantry. And, I guess, here we are at 4:00.

So I sat down to write this post and I decided to check in on this lady whose blog I've been following for years and years. She is seriously hilarious, as in she often makes me laugh so hard I cry, which is actually kind of hard to do. And she doesn't even know I exist, but since she's from Ohio we're basically best friends, because that's how Ohioans roll. Anyway, she was pregnant with twin girls, was experiencing some preeclampsia, and delivered them a few days ago. And so so SO sadly, she lost one of them. Like I said, I don't even know this family, but my heart is so broken for them. I read her post and seriously hugged all three of my babies for a solid 20 minutes after.

About 30 times this past week, Asher's pulled all the cushions off all the sofas and made a "bird's nest" with them in the middle of the living room floor. And each and every time he's called out, "Ima bird? Do you want to come sit in my bird's nest with me?" And usually I'm cleaning, or I'm typing, or I'm replying to emails. So I say, "In just a second, Ashi bird." But most times, I don't ever make it over there. But on Friday I climbed into the nest of pillows and cuddled up with him and Rami, and they were so, so happy. And we all fell asleep there, in the middle of the living room, at 11:00 AM. It was pretty much the sweetest thing ever, and it made me feel sad that I don't say "okay" more often. I really want my kids to remember the times I snuggled up with them in their pillow forts more than I want them to remember that the kitchen floor was always clean. Hanging out with them like that was really good for my soul, not just because it gave me the warm fuzzies but because it gave me the real chance to appreciate my babies and this time in their lives.

So this week my SuperIma resolution is to let the housework go in one small way every day and spend that time hugging my kids. (Notice I didn't say "let my me-time go, because that wouldn't be good at ALL.) Not only for me, but for all the Imas out there who have babies that they will never get to hug and play with on the floor when they're toddlers, and who would think I'm nuts for turning down even one bird's nest request.

You don't know me and I don't know you, Jenn, but my Ima's heart is crying for you. I'm so, so sorry.

How about the rest of you out there, SuperImas? What are you letting slide a bit to make some time to take care of yourself this week? And what crazy me-things are you going to do?

A Frugal Ima Super-Frugal Recipe: Split Pea Soup

2010-12-30T13:07:00.000-08:00

Oh, Frugal home managers, you know you love 'em - those Kopans comfort food tried and true crock pot recipes will get us all, God willing, through this awful winter. Here's another stunner of a super-frugal recipe; yes indeedy, this gorgeous thick winter soup will set you back just three measly bucks.

David grew up with this and it also got him through his first few super-lean months of grad school. He taught me how to make it - I think he thought it made him look foxy that he knew how to cook something. Now, somehow, I'm the one putting it together. But David's still foxy. How does that work?

Anyway. We really love lentils and split peas in this house because they deliver the same frugality (~$1 a pound, incredible!) and nutritional punch as other dried beans, but don't require any of the fussy soaking and/or pre-cooking required of, say, dry kidney beans or black beans.

This pea soup satisfies my requirement of minimal kitchen schvitzing time. Letting the peas cook together with the water all day long means that they basically melt into a smooth soup, meaning you don't have to stand over it with an immersion blender unless you really, really want to. As you might, if you want a few minutes to yourself when you ostensibly can't hear the children whining for more snacks, or that "he hit me", blah blah blah. (Forget what I said. Immersion blending is a great idea!)

Here's what you'll need:

1 lb (1 bag) of split peas (yellow is prettier than green, but green is more widely available.)

2 medium onions

1 lb of carrots

6 cups of water or stock, or some combination

salt, pepper, and garlic powder

Chop up the veggies. I do a dice with the onions so they'll be pretty undetectable in the final product, and leave the carrots large-ish because my boys like to pick them out to eat them.

Now just throw everything together in your crock pot.

This is a great step for little hands to help with. I just poured the liquid in, and then let the boys throw everything else in.

There will be tasting. The other half of this carrot went back into the pot, I think, so if you're expecting company, mind your helpers.

Season to taste. If you're using stock, you'll probably use less salt. We like a lot of garlic in ours.

Stir it up and season a bit more, if you want.

Then put it on low and go about your day. This soup works best with a full 12 hours in the pot, perfect for working families. I used to have this in the crock pot by 7 AM and it would be perfect for dinner. If you get it in a little later, just start it out or finish it off on High for a couple hours.

If it's been a long day, pour yourself a drink with one hand and grab the immersion blender with the other and blend away, my dear beleaguered Frugal Home Manager. But if your day's been okay, or if you don't have an immersion blender, here's what your soup will look like.

We served ours with roasted potatoes. You could also throw the potatoes in the soup itself for a nice one-pot meal. Enjoy!

SuperIma Sunday Check-in

2010-12-26T06:25:00.000-08:00

Hey SuperImas! It's that time of week again, where we check in to report on what we've adjusted in the past week to bring a little bit more sanity to our lives, and what our plan is for the coming week. I really believe that without a plan to accomplish something, it will never happen. So, this is my self-imposed accountability.

This week was the first week of Winter Break, which means that the boys didn't go to preschool. At all. Which is kind of insane if you think about it, but also kind of a relief because I wasn't schlepping to and from preschool 2 hours each day like normal.

I did have the frozen chili on the menu for this week instead of making something else, and it made it possible for me to escape to a coffee shop one on Tuesday night where I got about 1000 words of writing for fun done. So, that was a win!

For the past couple months, I've been experiencing some unpleasant health issues, mostly food related. I eat something, I feel miserable. Two weeks ago, coffee and chocolate started really bothering me, and in the past week, scrambled eggs have caused me some SERIOUS discomfort, as in, I need to lie down from feeling so sick after eating them. A couple of things make me think that it's a gall bladder issue - there's a family history, basic symptoms seem consistent with what I'm hearing/reading, and certain foods, mainly whole dairy and fatty ones, seem to be a trigger. I've been dealing with it for a couple months now, and calling it the stomach flu or even food poisoning, but I think that the time has finally come for me see a doctor.

This week, my commitment is to do whatever it takes to see a doctor and get a referral to someone who might be able to help me, because, you guys, this is getting pretty ridiculous. I am afraid to eat because I don't know what will make me feel bad. It's truly debilitating, taking me out of commission for hours at a time. No one should feel like this unless they're in their first trimester - which I'm not. Yeah, I checked.

Okay, enough violin-playing from this end. Time for your SuperIma Sunday checkin - what are you going to do to make your life a little more sane this week?

You're doing an awesome job. Way to go.

A Frugal Ima Super-Frugal Recipe: Jalapeno Bread

2010-12-23T05:22:00.000-08:00

So, I have a spouse that loves to nosh. He has quite a fast-paced job, and barely eats all day, so when he comes home he starts eating and pretty much doesn't stop for a few hours. He gets home around six and we eat dinner around 8, so you can imagine the havoc that can wreak on my fridge and pantry, especially with each meal carefully planned.

His favorite snack, crackers or chips topped with jalapenos and/or cheese (not so much cheese since I informed David I don't really want him to have a heart attack at 50 as runs in his family) can get quite pricey. He could eat a $2.50 box of crackers in a day and a half. So, until I could find a really incredible deal and can stock up on boxed crackers, I had to find an alternative solution if I didn't want to blow my grocery budget (still right at $75 a week, thankyouverymuch.) I started searching for noshy snack recipes I knew David would love.

But, seriously? What with the challah, and the cookies, and the vegetable chopping, and all the other schvitzing I do in the kitchen in the name of saving some cash? This frugal Ima doesn't want to have one more food task on her plate. So I don't often squeeze snacks for David into my kitchen schedule, and he is left to stare forlornly into the fridge after work, and choose between vanilla yogurt and carrot sticks. (cue violins playing)

Well, David let me go out for coffee all by myself the other night. So, as a reward, (and don't you tell me your marriage doesn't work on a system of mutual back-scratching and exchanged rewards, I don't believe you) I made this jalapeno bread, which to him is an acceptable substitute for the tres expensive Triscuits or Wheat Thins. Topped with jalapenos, of course. He can eat it with one hand without digging jalapenos out of a jar, which is perfect because he'll be able to give the kids their bath while he's noshing - no excuses!

The whole thing cost me a few bucks to make. (It might cost you a little more if you don't buy jalapenos in industrial sized jars like we do.) It's whole wheat, low fat, and high-taste. If you have a bread machine, I learned yesterday that this turns out perfectly baked in there.

Here's what you'll need:
1 cup of water
2 tablespoons honey
3 c flour (we use half whole wheat)
1 tsp salt
2 tsp yeast
cubed cheddar cheese (we leave this out most of the time to keep it pareve)
a big bunch of jalapenos

Chop up your jalapenos and lightly squeeze them in a towel to dry them a bit. This is so all that spicy juice doesn't infiltrate your bread and the jalapeno flavor stays distinct.

Throw all your ingredients into a mixer or bread machine, or a large bowl to mix by hand. Mix and knead till it's all smooth:

Let it rise to about double in bulk:

Punch it down and form it into eight rolls in a greased round pan, cover with saran wrap, and let rise again:

Bake at 350 for 25 minutes or so. I used a pair of scissors to cut little "x" shapes in the top of each roll. Just because I thought it was pretty.

Or, you could just chuck everything into the bread machine and let 'er rip, which is what I did yesterday:

Nom Nom. Happy Noshing!

Frugal Jewish Education: Take Your Kids to Shul

2010-12-21T05:37:00.000-08:00

Do you want your kids to feel a connection to their Jewish community?
Do you want them to recognize Jewish ritual objects and their uses?
Do you want them to know how to behave in a Jewish prayer service?
Do you want them to be familiar with the sights and sounds of Jewish prayer?
Do you want them to know how to greet other Jews on Shabbat and holidays?

There is one thing you can do that will accomplish all these things (and more!):

Take your kids to shul (synagogue).

Yep. That's it.

You don't have to be an expert in any of the above for your kids (and you!) to learn about all of it, just by taking your family to shul on a regular basis. The rabbi, cantor, and lay leaders are the experts and do the Jewish prayer service every week, and every day in some shuls.

Don't know the prayers? Don't know the motions? It's no excuse. Most of Jewish prayer is silent or led by the prayer leader, so just stand up when everyone stands up and sit down when they sit down. (If more people are sitting down than standing up, like for the Mourner's Kaddish, you should probably sit down too, unless you're in mourning.)

Don't know how to greet other Jews on Shabbat and holidays? It's no excuse. Just repeat what they say back to you. If someone says, "Gut Shabbos," you say "Gut Shabbos" back. "Shanah Tovah" gets a "Shanah Tovah" in return. Teach your kids to do the same - they love repeating things back to their teachers (you!)

Here are some tips to make your shul-going experience with children as pleasant and instructive as possible:

1. Keep your expectations low. For Kol Nidre (the eve of Yom Kippur), David and I said we wanted to stay through the chanting of the actual Kol Nidre prayer, and then we would be okay with leaving. That prayer occurred about half an hour into the prayer service. We barely made it. Be prepared to leave if your child throws a fit or acts up. It's okay - Shabbat services happen every week.

(Kol Nidre before and after. See the disparity?)

(Rami having a total meltdown right before we leave for shul)

2. Explain to your children exactly how they should behave. Asher and I had this conversation before we walked into shul yesterday:
Me: "Asher, when we walk into the shul, should we use our loud voices or quiet voices?"
Asher: "Quiet voices."
Me: "And may we run around like wild things, or walk and sit quietly?"
Asher: "Sit quietly."

and:

Me: "Asher, what should we say to people we see in shul?"
Asher: "Gut Shabbos."

And he got it! He truly did. Now, these are the only three behaviors I dictated to him. This left room for him to move seats, whisper things to me, and play quietly with toys. Which brings me to.....

3. Come prepared. Bring non-messy snacks (like apple slices) and quiet toys and books for the children to amuse themselves with. Just sitting in the prayer service will teach your kids an awful lot, especially the younger ones - they don't need to pay attention to every single word. Remember that in more traditional synagogues toys that have electronic components and coloring books would be no-nos.

4. Make it special. Keep a special kippah (skullcap), special shoes, or special toys that only come out for shul-going. Our kids have these prayerbooks that they get to take with them only when they go to shul. I can't recommend these highly enough - they are tear-proof and simple for small children to handle and understand.

(Asher checking out his Shabbat siddur before shul)

5. Model behavior. If you want your children to pay attention to the prayer service, don't chat with your neighbors. Ask them to stand up for prayers with you. Sing along if you can. Your enthusiasm and attention will rub off on your child.
If you want them to greet other people, say "Shabbat Shalom," to as many people as you can, especially ones that look like they would be very happy to engage with a small child. You just might make someone's day!

Remember, by taking your children to shul, you are not only doing something for yourself and your family. You are enriching the entire Jewish community. Jewish communal leaders are seeing a decrease in regular Shabbat communities, and even mildly noisy children are a very welcome sight to "regulars." They would love for you to be a "regular" too. And as your children go to shul more and more, they will develop a relationship with the synagogue, its congregants, and its clergy, not to mention a comfort and familiarity with Jewish prayers and behaviors. 100% worth it, in my book.

(Me and the boys, on a Shabbos morning before shul)

Okay, shul-goers (and church-goers? Any Christians reading?) - What are your tips for making the most out of taking children to prayer services? Share them below, or link to your post that talks about it. Looking forward to hearing!

SuperIma Sunday Check-in: Inagural Edition

2010-12-19T04:00:00.000-08:00

My post about being a SuperIma came straight from my heart on a particularly bad day. It was inspired by another blog post I read on my Google reader, and when I tried to find the exact post, by Reader navigation skills failed me. I looked for half an hour so now I give up. But I presume that mother would forgive me.

Anyway. The number of comments that post received was, to be honest, record breaking here at the Frugal Ima. (6 comments! and none of them were mine!) Each of them choked me up. As I read them, here's what I was thinking:
1. I am not alone.
2. I am not alone.
3. I am not alone.
4. I am not alone.
5. I am not alone.
6. I am not alone.

Wow. What a relief.

This change from full-time working Ima to full-time stay-at-home Ima has been a difficult adjustment to navigate, in more ways than one. In fact, I think I haven't been so much navigating it as resisting it, ignoring it, weeping about it, and being angry about it. For me, the switch is complicated by a few things (which are totally whiny and you don't have to read them unless you really want to know):

1. I am a perfectionist. Any job I have, I want to do well. So, actually, I have noticed myself being obsessed with being a perfect stay-at-home mom. This post and your responses made me realize "perfect" is very different for this job than in any other job. At my old job, my supervisor would meet with me once a week, ask me how planning for a program was going, or how many students I had met with. We would (partly) define my success and progress that way. When you're a stay-at-home parent, every benchmark of success is relative and mostly self defined, making "perfect" a moving target. I won't get an evaluation until my kids are my age. From the lady wishing her rabbinical school would just give out letter grades like a normal school (LOVE YOU RRC!!!!), this is a huge, almost devastating change.

2. I don't like this job. I just don't. I like my kids, and G-d knows I LOVE MY KIDS, but I enjoyed them 100 times more when I was working full-time. That's the simple truth.

3. "Help" is Expensive. Even if I want to hire someone to watch the kids a few hours a week so I can catch a break, or send out David's shirts to be pressed, or get a house cleaner, the weekly dollars add up. We lost our entire emergency savings account when we had to (essentially) short-sell the house, and we're aggressively saving to build it back up as quickly as possible. It's tough for the Frugal Ima to justify hiring someone to help me do a job that I don't get paid for (yeah, I get paid in kisses and love, but they don't pay the bills.)

4. I am an introvert. I've always hated parties, and don't especially enjoy being out of the house. I feel "recharged" after some quiet time at home as opposed to connecting with other people. All the things that are supposed to help stay-at-home parents adjust - "Getting out" and "meeting people" - are pretty much the most arduous things I can imagine doing. It's not that I don't like the other parents who stay at home - it's just envisioning the stress of getting everyone ready to leave the house (including myself! Because those who truly know me know all about my Hermione hair...) When you are a stay-at-home parent, being an introvert is really tough because you have a deep need to be at home but at the same time OMG home is your JOB now, and fills you with stress, because you don't even know if you're doing a good job at your job (see point 1) and.....yeah. You can imagine.

I haven't quite worked out how to address each of those challenges yes, but I do know one thing. This past week, when I had the stomach flu on Thursday and Friday, I mostly laid on the floor moaning. The laundry didn't get folded and the kitchen floor wasn't swept. But when my little boy wanted to snuggle with me on the couch, I said "Sure." instead of "Ima has to fold the laundry now." And my heart felt so joyful in that moment. And no one died because the laundry didn't get folded that day. And I felt marginally better. And happier.

So each week, I'm going to post here the one thing from my job I'm going to let slide just a little bit, and what it's going to make room for. Because I really need it, you guys. Parenting is hard, and full-time parenting is harder, for me at least. And I really need your support. Here's my very first "SuperIma Check-In."

This week, I'm going to serve some veggie chili we have stashed in the freezer for dinner one night, which will give me at least 45 minutes of "freed" time. I'm going to spend 45 minutes uninterrupted by children, email, or internet, working on some writing I've been doing for pleasure. The few times I've done that in the past couple of weeks, I've felt a small sense of accomplishment, and G-d knows I need that right now.

I'm inviting you to join in. You don't have to link back to me, or follow any rules. (I'll put a Mr. Linky, but you can just link to your post in the comments, or tell us about it in the comments.) Just tell us what you're going to do for yourself, and maybe what you're going to let slide a little bit.
You deserve it. And I support you.

Yes, I realize that these are all what my dear Israeli bestie Hela calls "Tzarot Shel Ashirim" - "Problems of Rich People." Trust me, David and I spend time every day feeling thankful for all our (many!) blessings. But that doesn't negate the fact that I'm still having a tough adjustment period here, and I don't want to make myself feel guilty (er) for feeling that way.

I hope you'll forgive me for increasing my posts just a bit on the "Ima" side of "The Frugal Ima". (And hey! If it really bothers you, you can stop reading. I'm not monetized. ;))

Funfetti Challah (Frugal Jewish Education Series)

2010-12-16T05:00:00.000-08:00

We all know the best way to learn how to do something is to do it yourself.
We also all know that it is far better to have our children do things for us than to have to do them ourselves. (After all, why else did we have children in the first place? I jest! But not really.)

For this reason I always involve the boys as much as possible in helping me with the Friday challah baking. While we make "balls" and "snakes" out of the dough, we talk about taking challah and why it's important.
We always separate the challah and say the bracha (links to instructions for ritual separating of the challah) together.
Asher, who already knows the formula for Jewish blessings from saying them meal after meal before we eat, (as we try, and I emphasize try, to remember to do) really loves saying the blessing along with me. Both boys know the last word of the blessing and jump up and down when they say it.
(It is so sweet to watch Rami's face light up and scream "eesah!" at the end of the bracha.)

Because the bracha has so many of the same words that we use daily before we eat, I use it to teach this lesso:. We express gratitude when HaShem gives something to us, but we also express gratitude when we set something aside for HaShem. Being Jewish is not only about getting and saying "thank you-" it's about saying "thank you" for the opportunity to give back as well.

In an effort to make this mitzvah a bit more fun and to keep it interesting week after week, I've been trying new add-ins. I had seen this post on homemade funfetti cake and figured the same principle would probably work for challah. And I was right!
So, from the Kopans Bayit to you, here it is -
Funfetti Challah.

Mix up a regular batch of challah dough. (As if Challah is ever 'regular'!) After the first rise and punch-down, plop a couple of tablespoons of standard rectangular sprinkles (jimmies?) on top.

Knead them in till they're evenly distributed.

Strand and braid as usual. (Yes, I just made "strand" into a verb. Hello, self-publishing!)

Bake at 350 for 30 minutes or so, as usual. The finished challah comes out with pockets of color and sweetness.

Asher obsessed over hunting for the blue funfettis. Awesome.

Shabbat Shalom!

On Being a SuperIma

2010-12-15T12:50:00.000-08:00

I hear it a lot. I am SuperIma. I appreciate your admiration and your props, folks, I truly do. And I just want to write a blog post all about it. Yes, it's true. I am SuperIma.

If being a SuperIma means that I am speechless when my son tells me he wants me to go to work, and don't have the first clue about how to teach him not to say that again. Ever.

If SuperIma schleps her boy to an age-inappropriate movie so that she gets a chance to see it before it hits DVD.

If SuperIma leaves crusted snot on the baby's face when she is laid down for naptime, because wiping it off would wake the baby, and that is just not okay right now.

If SuperIma serves spaghetti-Os to her children for dinner one night. And then boxed mac and cheese another night in that same week.

If SuperIma forgets, on occasion, to do dinner prep, and weeps about it while SuperAbba boils spaghetti.

If SuperIma leaves her wide-awake boys in their bedroom for an extra 45 minutes so that she can squeeze in a workout.

If SuperIma doesn't scrub the downstairs toilet one week in the name of getting just 5 more minutes to herself in the downstairs shower.

If SuperIma yells (yes, YELLS!) at her child when she is frustrated that he just. won't. toilet train.

If SuperIma squeezes the baby into pajamas that are undeniably too small, because the prospect of digging through boxes to find the next size up is just too overwhelming.

If SuperIma notices a streak of dried snot or smeared banana on her couch cushions, and shrugs and sits down on it instead of wiping it up.

If SuperIma regularly makes a second pot of coffee after lunch just to find the energy to cheerfully get through the afternoon.

If SuperIma sometimes pours herself a different kind of drink the second she hears Abba walking in the door at the end of a long day.

If SuperIma sometimes thinks, like seriously thinks, about checking into a hotel for the night so she can just get away from it all.

If SuperIma only includes one photo at the end of her very long blog post, and that photo is of the disgusting state of her house where she ignores it all while blogging, because that is all the photographic energy she can muster.

Yep. I'm SuperIma. And so are you (or, you know, SuperAbba, as the case may be.) And here is your high-five. And hug. Way to go, lady.

Frugal and Spiritual: Homemade Challah (Or: "Kansas City Challah")

2010-12-13T11:12:00.000-08:00

Baking Challah is one of my favorite parts about being Jewish. You can buy challah (to the tune of $5 a loaf, oy!!) but this mitzvah is so close to my heart that both my frugal and my spiritual selves really benefit from the weekly schvitz of baking it every week.

Challah is about delicious bread, to be sure. I love Deb's description of what it smells like when it's baking. But lots of bread is delicious. Challah is special.

Lots of people don't know that "challah" is actually the word for the portion that was set aside for the Temple priests thousands of years ago (check out Numbers 15.) Before baking, Jews still remove a portion of the dough and either burn it or dispose of it in remembrance of that time.

Taking the challah is actually the spiritual heart of baking this awesome Shabbat bread, for a couple of reasons. Taking a portion of the dough before braiding and baking reminds us that everything we have really belongs to HaShem. Not only that, but it is our responsibility to use the blessings HaShem gives us, an abundance of food being among them, to help others, just as our ancestors set aside a portion for the priests so long ago.

Over time, Jews have become connected to the moment when challah is taken as one of a handful of times when we are especially close to HaShem, when the gates of heaven are open to our prayers. I am one who takes this especially to heart. Even if we are not expecting guests, I bake challah every week. I feel connected to HaShem, but also to other Jewish bakers all around the world who are doing the same thing and seeking the same connection that I am.

Challah is a braided bread to ensure that it is technically at least two loaves in one, to represent the double portion (lechem mishneh) of manna that HaShem provided to the Israelites in the desert (Exodus 16) - another story to remind us that HaShem always provides for our needs. Different bakers use different braids. I use a five-strand braid (YouTube Link) - a strand for each Kopans in the Kopans Bayit. For me, this is a recognition of how lucky we are to have five in our family, and a prayer that each one of us will be provided for and taken care of.

It is literally baking with love.

For all these reasons, my challah baking is very important to me. You can imagine my horror when we moved from Ohio to Kansas City and suddenly my tried-and-true challah recipe didn't work. It was too wet, and adding more flour made it crumbly. I couldn't for the life of me figure out the right balance.

Mara gave us her incredible recipe, but David likes his challah more eggy than sweet (actually, he doesn't like it sweet at all.) So each week I tried a different tweak. It took nearly four months (!!!) but I finally recovered the Kopans challah recipe to work in Kansas City.

I'll be making more posts on how to make challah baking extra fun for kids (funfetti challah, anyone?) but for now here is our challah recipe from Middle America.

Kopans' in Kansas City Challah Recipe:

1 1/4 c water

3 eggs

3 tbsp honey

1/2 c vegetable oil

6 c flour

2 1/2 tsp salt

4 tsp instant yeast

Knead all ingredients together until smooth and allow a first rise, until nearly doubled in bulk:

Turn out onto a floured surface and separate into sections for braiding:

Roll into strands, the middle thicker than the ends, for braiding:

Braid and allow a second rise under saran wrap on baking sheets. The second rise should be no longer than 45 minutes.

Wash with beaten whole egg and bake at 350 degrees for 28 minutes or until the internal temperature reaches 170 degrees. Cool on a cooling rack:

If you live in Kansas City, stop by the Kopans Bayit some Shabbos to grab a bite. Shabbat Shalom!

ETA: This post was contributed to Mara's challah recipe swap over at Kosher on a Budget. You MUST go visit!

Creating Monsters in Eight Nights - Chanukah and Gifts?

2010-12-07T06:07:00.000-08:00

So, here's the scoop.
I always said I would never give my kids Chanukah presents. "Purim is the Jewish season for gift-giving!" I would proclaim, "And not Chanukah!"

And then I had kids. And they are soooo cute (see sidebar.) And I want to make them happy. And I want to give them things that will put smiles on their little faces.

So I started picking up things, here and there, that I could give them for Chanukah. Token things, little things. A set of plastic animals found in the clearanced dollar section at Target. An "egg" that dissolves in the bathtub to reveal a tiny toy dinosaur. Gelt. Sweet little jungle-animal hand puppets I snagged at Costco for $2 apiece.

My mom, bless her, loaded the kids up with Chanukah gifts as well. Again, nothing big-deal or crazy-expensive; a new box of markers and a coloring book. Sweet wintertime window clings. A Shalom Sesame DVD. A dinosaur board book. A Lego set.

And so it was that we ended up with more than one present for each night. By the third night of Chanukah, the boys started to peer into their bags for the next present almost as soon as they had gotten the first one. Uh oh.

But! I was excited for the fifth night of Chanukah. The fifth night of Chanukah, I tell everyone, is a magical night. A Chasidic custom teaches that this night is special, because it's the first night of Chanukah where there is more light than darkness amongst the candle spaces. The fifth night, being so close to a new moon, is always one of the darkest nights of the year, even moreso because it can never fall on Shabbat. The fifth night teaches that we must bring light even into a world of great, seemingly insurmountable darkness. We are the candles, etc. etc.

Gorgeous. So I decided long ago that this would mean in our house that we get out and do something positive for someone or some cause on the fifth night. The local Kollel was throwing a Chanukah party for some kids and the residents of our Jewish retirement village. Exactly what we needed - low key and awesome.

I explained to the kids (well, Asher) that there were lots of Sabas and Savtas (grandparents) who don't get to see their grandchildren, and that we could go talk with them and show them our favorite toys and wish them a Happy Chanukah and that it would help them feel happier and maybe not so sad about missing their grandchildren.
And that doing that would be our Chanukah present for that night.

I thought they Got It, you guys. I really did.

So we drove home, all the while talking about our fifth night mitzvah, and I was full of the warm fuzzies. I fed my angels dinner and then we arranged our candles in the chanukiah. Asher lit his own and my heart swelled with pride. We finished singing the blessings. Then he turned his sweet little face to me and asked, "Can we do Chanukah now?"
It took me a second to realize it, but in just four nights of modest gift-giving Asher had begun to equate "doing Chanukah" with "getting gifts."

Oy oy oy oy oy oy OY.

So my first reaction is to put the kibosh on Chanukah presents, right? So all the other little tchotchkes I had picked up went straight into the gift bin (thanks Mara, you frugal genius). But obviously the gifts Savta had sent still needed to be distributed, and then there were the Chucks. I got a pair of gloriously cute Chucks on super clearance on cyber Monday (we're talking $12 a pair, for shoes my boychiks needed anyway). And because I am a supercool Ima, I bought a cheap pack of shoelace charms that blink when you move. And I strung them on, and put the shoes back in their boxes, and you could see the charms blinking from the outside of the box you guys, it was so so cool!

So last night, the sixth night, I made a big production out of how tonight's gift was so so awesome. And I gave the shoes to the boys. And they looked at them. And they stomped around a little bit. And then Asher looked me straight and the eye and said, "What else is in the bag?"

"WHAT ELSE IS IN THE BAG!?!?!?!?!?"

Now, I know what you're thinking. "Those children are so spoiled!" "Don't you teach those mini menschen their manners?"

Dear readers, I promise you - we make these children say "thank you" for everything. Even their milk with breakfast. We say brachas before we eat our food and talk about gratitude-related things all the time. They have to say "thank you" to their teachers before they leave preschool for the day.

I feel so deflated.

So, what's an Ima to do?

I already said "no" to any more Chanukah presents. And I'm going to have Asher take the remaining gelt and give it as gifts to his preschool. But I feel like I've created a monster in three years and four nights. What would you do? No Chanukah presents anymore? Only on the eighth night? Do you think the children will be somehow damaged? By which decision?

I am about to make your Chanukah about 18 times more pleasant.

2010-12-02T16:25:00.000-08:00

Did that title get ya?

I think I've mentioned before how much I hate standing over a stove. For real. I mean, I can't even stand to boil pasta. So you can imagine how much I hate, hate HATE dealing with the stinky mess of latkes at Chanukah time.
Even you, O Cheeriest of Jewish Home Managers - don't you try to tell me you haven't been there: You grate up the potatoes, rushing to get them all done before they start getting brown, weep over grating onions, fret over getting ALL the liquid squeezed out lest the stray droplet leap out of the frying pan to scar your arm, heat up the oil to the perfect temperature so that your latkes will be crispy on the outside and perfectly done on the inside (as opposed to burned on the outside and raw on the inside,) and, just as you've been burned by one too many droplets of steaming, leaping oil, and you're observing that the size of your latke pile doesn't nearly reflect the extent of your labors, it happens.
The smoke detector goes off.
Your children are screaming and crying (even though they know it's not, in fact, an air raid siren, just a smoke detector,) you are about half an inch too short to reach the smoke detector, even standing on a chair, so you're frantically trying to fan the smoke away from it while keeping an eye on the latkes still cooking, and....oy. Before you know it you have smelly house, hair and clothes, traumatized children, a wasted hour, and 8 burned latkes.

Wow, sneak attack! Your Chanukah is suddenly miserable. Right? Wrong.

I stumbled across this recipe for oven-fried latkes and I thought, "Hey, if these flop, all I've lost is a couple of potatoes."

They. Were. Incredible.
I made 16 on Wednesday night and my boys were polishing off the last two for breakfast on Thursday morning.

Here's what you'll need:
4 large potatoes, 5-6 medium ones, or 7-8 small ones.
1 medium onion.
3 eggs
3/4 cup flour
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1 c (or so) oil.
salt and pepper to taste
(You don't need the Manischewitz I included in the picture, but I figured a little on the rocks couldn't hurt.)

Dump the flour and baking powder in the bottom of your bowl. Season it with whatever salt and pepper you want (you can always add more later.)

Now put a good layer of oil on some baking sheets lined with foil and parchment. Slide them into the oven at 425 to let that oil get nice and sizzly, and waiting for your latkes.

Crack the eggs on top of the flour and baking soda. Grate in your onions.

Then your potatoes. (All recipes call for squeezing the liquid out of these. I had a toddler screaming upstairs like a KGB agent had infiltrated his bedroom, so I totally forgot this step. They turned out fine, but if you want to squeeze, knock yourself out.) Mix it all up really well.

Drop spoonfuls of the batter on a cookie sheet and smoosh them down a little bit. I got 8 per cookie sheet.

After about 12 minutes, when you see the edges start to brown, flip them over.

After another 8-10 minutes, pull them out and drain them on some paper towels.

As for cleanup? Just ball up the foil and throw it out. Chuck those cookie sheets in the dishwasher. You're done!

Now, just TRY to stop those latkes from being eaten.

Sit back and relax, you are a hero! Just like Judah Maccabee.

Happy Chanukah!

A Frugal Ima Thanksgiving Recipe - Perfect Pareve Cookies

2010-11-23T06:49:00.000-08:00

Wow! I can already tell that Rami's birthday falling during Thanksgiving week is going to catapult me to a new level of crazy-multitasking Ima. If you're like me and already spend weeks planning Thanksgiving dinner, complete with menus and cooking schedules, you can imagine what birthday planning adds to the list, even for a tiny 2-year-old (Please tell me Rami still counts as "tiny!" I am not dealing well with his growing so fast.)

So I'm not going to be turbo-blogging this week as I'd like to. But I would be remiss if I didn't share my perfect pareve cookie discovery from a couple weeks ago. Those of you with kosher households where meat and dairy are not served in the same meal can appreciate the weekly dilemma Shabbat presents - you're going to cook a delicious meat dinner, so what dairy-free dessert will give it an appropriate finish and leave Shabbos bellies happy?

Well, obviously, Thanksgiving presents the same problem. We have a gorgeous turkey and brisket, mashed potatoes enriched with schmaltz, not to mention the rest of the smorgasbord, and....uh oh! What's for dessert?

Well, I recently hacked my favorite chocolate cookie recipe to be pareve and let me just tell you I. Am. OBSESSED. with these cookies. There are so many variations, too! Prepare to be amazed at how easy these are and then, once you eat them, how DELICIOUS they are. (Then be prepared to deal with how many you actually ate before you realize it.)

Ingredients:
1 cup shortening
1 c white sugar
1/2 c brown sugar
2 eggs
2 tbsp vanilla extract
2 c all-purpose flour
3/4 c cocoa powder
3/4 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt

Cream the shortening, sugar, vanilla, and eggs together until fluffy. Sift together dry ingredients and mix into shortening mixture just until combined.

Form the dough into 1-inch balls and bake at 350 degrees for 10 minutes (they will look underdone but they're not!!!)

and bake at 350 degrees for 10 minutes (they will look underdone but they're not!!!)

Find something around the house you can use to make a circle-sized indentation in the middle. I use a large vanilla extract bottle's top.

Now let them cool. Watch out, because they will get snatched!

Now here's the fun part. Make a pretty thick mixture of confectioner's sugar (about a cup?) and water (about a tbsp?)

Now, here's where the possibilities become endless. You can drop it in there plain and cover it with sprinkles:

Or you can mix it up with coconut (this is my greatest weakness. Ever.):

In the past, I've also mixed it with mint extract to make mint-filled chocolate cookies, and orange extract for an orange flavor. I've been meaning to try raspberry extract as well.
The confectioner's sugar filling takes on food coloring beautifully, so these can be colored to match literally any theme. When you chill these cookies, the filling takes on the consistency and taste of Oreo creme - INCREDIBLE!

Layer these in a food storage container with parchment paper and stick them in the freezer. If you pull them out right before you serve dinner, they will be perfect for dessert.

I'd love to hear all about your tried-and-true pareve desserts - share them in the comments!

Happy Thanksgiving, and enjoy!

Food Waste Friday: Another Shameful Trio.

2010-11-19T07:41:00.000-08:00

Every Friday I post a photo and little story about food my family has wasted in the past week. Why do I do this? To make a long (Jewish) story short, the mitzvah of bal tashchit (don't waste stuff) plus the Jewish value that G-d is HaZan et HaOlam (The One who provides enough food for all of His creatures) equals any food waste being a total slap in the face to both my tradition and HaShem. Not okay in my book. This is my self-imposed accountability.

Hey everyone, remember last time I posted three food wastes in a week? And swore it would never happen again. Um, yeah. Easier said than done.

1. Roasted potatoes from Shabbos. These poor little roasted potato-lets never got eaten....lesson learned: I need to roast the potatoes in larger chunks. They are much tastier that way (I did that Monday night) and they go like hotcakes.

2. Honey cake muffins, circa mid-September. These were from a batch of about two dozen, most of which were quickly gobbled. These got shoved to the back of the freezer at some point. They looked okay, but tasted sad.

3. Hummus (ACK!!!) This is the worst. The expiration date is from two months ago. Clearly I need to quit buying and make my own a la Mara, so that I can make hummus in the quantities we'll actually eat before forgetting about at the back of the fridge.

Thanks for another week of keeping me honest, everyone! Shabbat Shalom!

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